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Author Topic: Practical Jokes
Chris Duvall
Film Handler

Posts: 18
From: Las Vegas, NV, USA
Registered: Mar 2001


 - posted 03-24-2001 07:57 AM      Profile for Chris Duvall   Email Chris Duvall   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
When I started in this silly little industry of ours some 15 years ago as an usher, we had some Rights of Passage thingy for any of the newbies that came on board. Hazing if you will. Well tonight, my ushers are still keeping the faith with some of the old classics I remember...

1. Filling the water fountain. Have the newbie take buckets of water and pour them down the drain of the fountain. Make sure the newbie knows that the fountain will be filled when it is water backs up in the drain.

2. Buy a gallon of "Technicolor" from the local store of choice. Point out a scene to a newbie from a movie with awkward coloring such as the muted colors of Saving Private Ryan and tell the newbie that you need a gallon of "Technicolor" to replentish the print back to normal. Even funnier if the local store in in on the joke.

Has anybody else done or seen such things in their places? I would love to hear other stories as this...

------------------
Chris Duvall
General Manager
Regal Cinemas
Colonnade 14
Las Vegas, Nevada

John Pytlak
Film God

Posts: 9987
From: Rochester, NY 14650-1922
Registered: Jan 2000


 - posted 03-24-2001 12:09 PM      Profile for John Pytlak   Author's Homepage   Email John Pytlak   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
The infamous "film stretcher"?

Showing someone how to make a cement splice on acetate film, and then giving them polyester film to demonstrate that they can make a splice.

------------------
John P. Pytlak, Senior Technical Specialist
Worldwide Technical Services, Entertainment Imaging
Eastman Kodak Company
Research Labs, Building 69, Room 7419
Rochester, New York, 14650-1922 USA
Tel: 716-477-5325 Cell: 716-781-4036 Fax: 716-722-7243
E-Mail: john.pytlak@kodak.com
Web site: http://www.kodak.com/go/motion


Joe Redifer
You need a beating today

Posts: 12859
From: Denver, Colorado
Registered: May 99


 - posted 03-24-2001 12:46 PM      Profile for Joe Redifer   Author's Homepage   Email Joe Redifer   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
We've done the "Running out of Technicolor" bit a few times. Once was when we had Snow White which was letterboxed on the left and right of the screen. I told the employees that we couldn't project in that area since we were running out of Technicolor. Boy we had fun.

Another thing we had was the "Marquee Stretcher" which was located in the theaters basement, wherever that is. I always thought this was kind of dumb.

Later on I made up a fictional device called the "Squeegee Sharpener". Because in order to clean those windows, that rubber squeegee had to be sharp!

I once made a new female employee climb up to the marquee platform to get the marquee stretcher. She didn't bother to tell me beforehand that she was afraid of heights. But she climbed up anyway. I literally had to climb up and drag her back down. Fun.

I get the feeling that I've posted this stuff in similar thread somewhere.



Jim Ziegler
Jedi Master Film Handler

Posts: 753
From: West Hollywood, CA
Registered: Jul 99


 - posted 03-24-2001 01:11 PM      Profile for Jim Ziegler   Email Jim Ziegler   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Straw Inventory...

Aaron Sisemore
Flaming Ribs beat Reeses Peanut Butter Cups any day!

Posts: 3061
From: Rockwall TX USA
Registered: Sep 1999


 - posted 03-24-2001 01:30 PM      Profile for Aaron Sisemore   Email Aaron Sisemore   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
>>The infamous "film stretcher"?<<

Such an item exists, John! its better known as a brain-wrapping platter!! <rim shot>


>>"Marquee Stretcher" which was located in the theaters basement, wherever that is.<<

...and some older theatres I have seen actually *do* have basements(!)

Some of those old practical jokes have been known to 'backfire': I remember hearing the story of the Air Force crew chief telling one of his subordinates to find him a couple gallons of 'Prop Wash' and not to come back until he got it. Well the subordiate was AWOL for about a week and had traversed several states and finally returned with two gallons of a genuine commercial product called 'Prop Wash' ( likely for marine propellers) Needless to say the crew chief got what was coming to him.

Aaron


Paul G. Thompson
The Weenie Man

Posts: 4718
From: Mount Vernon WA USA
Registered: Nov 2000


 - posted 03-24-2001 01:54 PM      Profile for Paul G. Thompson   Email Paul G. Thompson   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
John, I'll have to try that one on some newbies.....

Jerry Chase
Phenomenal Film Handler

Posts: 1068
From: Margate, FL, USA
Registered: Nov 2000


 - posted 03-24-2001 04:48 PM      Profile for Jerry Chase   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Jim, You must never have worked at GCC during the election period. The GCC "Straw Poll" made counting straws a requirement. Dumb.

Some of the real things theatre owners think up for the staffs belong in the practical joke catagory. One owner decided that every cup picked up in the auditorium had to be crushed ad/or punctured, so that it couldn't be re-used. Ushers routinely came out with their hands covered with soft drinks from the half full cups until the owner could be convinced that a concession thief wasn't going to crush the cups he would use to recycle, and everyone else was wasting their time.

Another owner dictated that no leaf blowers were to be used in the auditorium, supposedly to protect the screens. The screens were painted gypsum board.

Spoilage counts at many places require the manager to save hot dogs, buns, pretzels and cookies in unrefrigerated areas. After about a month of a D.M. not showing up to count off the spoilage, the practical joke is to get a new kid to sort the blobs of moldy food for the D.M.

Another owner saved the expense of movable masking "because there weren't going to be any more scope prints."



Paul G. Thompson
The Weenie Man

Posts: 4718
From: Mount Vernon WA USA
Registered: Nov 2000


 - posted 03-24-2001 05:36 PM      Profile for Paul G. Thompson   Email Paul G. Thompson   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I certainly hope some theater and district managers read this about un-refrigerated spoilage counts.

You are asking for the Department of Health to come in and shut you down. Fumes of rotting food stuffs can contaminate the whole room, making it (and practically everything in it) a health hazard!

If I saw that, I would report it to the health authorities.

Would you knowingly eat something that was sitting next to a soggy, smelly, rottin' maggot-infested box of green weenies?


Gordon McLeod
Film God

Posts: 9532
From: Toronto Ontario Canada
Registered: Jun 99


 - posted 03-24-2001 06:16 PM      Profile for Gordon McLeod   Email Gordon McLeod   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I used to send apprentices out for the film stretcher. Once they went up to Best theatre supply looking for it and Rick Long(filmtecher) gave him a big heavy casting from a hertner mg set to bring back

James R. Hammonds, Jr
Jedi Master Film Handler

Posts: 931
From: Houston, TX, USA
Registered: Nov 2000


 - posted 03-26-2001 01:06 PM      Profile for James R. Hammonds, Jr   Email James R. Hammonds, Jr   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
i used to label flat and scope leader and confused the hell out of someone who was biulding up a flat movie and only had the scope leader.

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Leo Enticknap
Film God

Posts: 7474
From: Loma Linda, CA
Registered: Jul 2000


 - posted 03-26-2001 03:33 PM      Profile for Leo Enticknap   Author's Homepage   Email Leo Enticknap   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
The first feature I showed on my own and unsupervised was one of the Indiana Jones films. The chief, bless him, had taken one of the reels and swapped it with a reel from a 1970s porno film by the name of 'Female Foxy Boxers'. He'd swapped the leaders round and everything (so that the leader on the swapped reel said 'Indiana Jones, reel whatever'), and it was only that the reel had a VERY nasty smell (I now know that this was severe vinegar syndrome) that I unwound a bit on the bench before lacing it up and discovered what he'd done. I thought something had got spilt on it and wanted to check that it would run.

There then followed a frantic search round the box trying to find where he'd put the Indiana Jones reel, and eventually got the leaders swapped back again and the film laced up with barely two minutes until the changeover.

I wonder what the kiddies' parents would have said if that reel had gone on...

I've contemplated a similar practical jokes myself, but one which affects the customers like that is, IMHO, quite unprofessional. And besides, I don't happen to posess any porno films!

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Thomas Hauerslev
Master Film Handler

Posts: 451
From: Copenhagen, Denmark
Registered: Aug 2000


 - posted 04-09-2001 09:06 AM      Profile for Thomas Hauerslev   Author's Homepage   Email Thomas Hauerslev   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Here, we used to send the poor newbies across the square (From ABCinema) to our colleagues in other cinemas after "perforation holes", or if things were seriously heating up, "a spare blade for a dubble perforation cutter". RUN FOR IT!!! - and they ran.

------------------
All my best
Thomas
..in70mm - The 70mm Newsletter
www.in70mm.com www.dp70.com www.70mm.dk www.hauerslev.com http://hjem.get2net.dk/in70mm


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John Pytlak
Film God

Posts: 9987
From: Rochester, NY 14650-1922
Registered: Jan 2000


 - posted 04-09-2001 12:34 PM      Profile for John Pytlak   Author's Homepage   Email John Pytlak   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Thomas said: "...we used to send the poor newbies across the square (From ABCinema) to our colleagues in other cinemas after "perforation holes"."

At Kodak, we generate "perforation holes" by the truckload! Talk about "missing chads".

BTW, the "perforation holes" are all recycled to recover the silver and film base.

------------------
John P. Pytlak, Senior Technical Specialist
Worldwide Technical Services, Entertainment Imaging
Eastman Kodak Company
Research Labs, Building 69, Room 7419
Rochester, New York, 14650-1922 USA
Tel: 716-477-5325 Cell: 716-781-4036 Fax: 716-722-7243
E-Mail: john.pytlak@kodak.com
Web site: http://www.kodak.com/go/motion


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Paul Goulet
Master Film Handler

Posts: 347
From: Rhode Island
Registered: Jan 2000


 - posted 04-09-2001 03:15 PM      Profile for Paul Goulet   Author's Homepage   Email Paul Goulet   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 

Sometimes on Sunday Matinees when things are slow..I'll have the New Concession kids look through the Cash drawer for Canadian Quarters because Canadian Quarters are only good in Canada and can't be used in the U.S. One Sunday I had this newbie convinced there were "Left Handed" screws and "right Handed" screws..I had him going for hours with that one..Going upstairs to ask the Projectionist for a Left Handed screw driver for the left handed screws!
Another one is sending them into the theaters to put all the seats in the "upright" position! It sure makes the day go by very fast!

Paul Goulet

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Jerry Chase
Phenomenal Film Handler

Posts: 1068
From: Margate, FL, USA
Registered: Nov 2000


 - posted 04-09-2001 04:20 PM      Profile for Jerry Chase   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Oh dear, depending on the exchange rate, Canadian quarters may NOT be accepted at face value in the states. We used to have to do the conversions all the time in Vermont. The banks used to get very upset if a C. quarter got mixed in a roll of U.S. quarters. Which reminds me, a cute practical joke is to ask a newly transferred manager from the north to get some southern case quarters or an ink pin.

There are left handed threads, which anyone who has used a weed-eater probably knows. Also, there are screws that can be turned only one way. A favorite place where these are used is in bathrooms, to join the stall panels together. The screwdriver blade to drive these properly has to be sharpened oddly, kind of like the blade of a scissors.

Putting the seats (Griggs) in the upright position keeps the customers from banging their shins on the metal pans. Part of cleaning between shows was always pushing the rocker back so the fronts of the pans lined up.

Of course, you could be doing a practical joke about practical jokes...

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