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Author Topic: An Airline Passenger Took A Crap So Foul They Had To Land The Plane
Paul Mayer
Oh get out of it Melvin, before it pulls you under!

Posts: 3835
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 - posted 05-22-2015 01:25 PM      Profile for Paul Mayer   Author's Homepage   Email Paul Mayer   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I just can't resist... [evil]

quote:

An Airline Passenger Took A Crap So Foul They Had To Land The Plane

Dennis DiClaudio - 15-May

Having to use an airplane bathroom is indignity enough. Can you imagine what it would do to your self-esteem if your after-stench actually grounded an entire flight full of travelers.

Because that's exactly what happened to some poor man or woman (though, probably a man) who was flying British Airways from London to Dubai.

It appears that about fifteen minutes into the flight, a gastroenterologically distressed passenger took an emergency trip into the small room in the back of the plane to empty the contents of their lower intestine that thing that passes for a toilet. That's probably about seven seconds after the seatbelt light went off, so something pretty awful was probably brewing.

Shortly after the newly relieved passenger left the bathroom, his or her fellow travelers apparently started complaining to the crew about an ungodly rank odor emanating from bathroom. The complaints were so insistent and numerous that the captain was forced to make an announcement.

"He said you may have noticed there’s a quite pungent smell coming from one of the toilets," passenger Abhishek Sachdev told The Daily Mail. "He said it was liquid fecal excrement, those are the words he used. He said it's not a technical fault with the plane, and he was very adamant about that."

Imagine being the offending pooper and hearing that message. I'd probably just open the emergency door and try to escape into the stratosphere.
quote:

Source: — Abhishek Sachdev (@CllrAbhiSach)
Insane! Our BA flight to Dubai returned back to Heathrow because of a smelly poo in the toilet! 15hrs until next flight... #britishairways
4:20 PM - 12 Mar 2015

The crew never was able to adequately clean out the bathroom, and they couldn't have customers breathing noxious effluvia for seven hours, so the captain decided to turn the plane around—turn the plane around!!!—over Germany and take everyone back to Heathrow Airport.

The next flight to Dubai wasn't for another 15 hours, so British Airways wound up giving everyone onboard food vouchers and putting them up in nearby hotels.

All because one person dropped some remarkably foul heat.


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Lyle Romer
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 - posted 05-22-2015 03:19 PM      Profile for Lyle Romer   Email Lyle Romer   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Holy Crap!

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Randy Stankey
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 - posted 05-22-2015 03:31 PM      Profile for Randy Stankey   Email Randy Stankey   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Aw, it was a shitty flight, anyhow.

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Paul Mayer
Oh get out of it Melvin, before it pulls you under!

Posts: 3835
From: Albuquerque, NM
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 - posted 05-22-2015 04:04 PM      Profile for Paul Mayer   Author's Homepage   Email Paul Mayer   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
We'll see what Leo says whenever he gets around to seeing this. As I recall he was no fan of BA, otherwise known as "Shitish Airways." As for me, except for one wonderful flight on JAL Business Class, I've only traveled internationally on US air carriers - perhaps my standards are just lower. Though I don't think anyone could blame BA on this particular flight... [Smile]

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Leo Enticknap
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 - posted 05-25-2015 07:06 PM      Profile for Leo Enticknap   Author's Homepage   Email Leo Enticknap   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
To be fair to BA, they never did that to me. I called them Shitish Airways because every single time I flew with them (four in total) or had someone come to visit me on them, something went seriously wrong. The most recent was when they lost my aunt's baggage when she came over for my wedding. And there wasn't even a transfer! Put bag on plane at Heathrow, take it off again in San Diego. Is it really that hard? What did they do, toss it overboard at 35,000 feet? And by lost, I mean, really lost - the case was never found.

Still these poor people weren't the only ones to have a hygiene issue with BA - in 2001, two of their 747s became bedbug infested and were grounded.

When I was still living in Britain and first started to visit the US regularly, I used KLM/Northwest (as they then were), simply because KLM was the only airline that had feeder-to-hub flights from what was my local airport in the north-east of England.

While they aren't perfect, KLM and Delta have always been reasonably reliable, reasonably priced, never lost a bag that they haven't found again within a day or two and have almost always got me to my destination roughly on time, even on a routing that involved two or three changes of plane. I'm not flying anything like as much as I once was, but I'd still be quite happy with them again. A relative came to stay earlier this year on Air New Zealand (direct LHR to LAX), and she had a very good experience with them. So if I end up making a trip to England later in the year (which will probably be between Thanksgiving and Christmas if it happens - quiet time at work and tickets are cheap), I'll check out what they have to offer as well.

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Paul Mayer
Oh get out of it Melvin, before it pulls you under!

Posts: 3835
From: Albuquerque, NM
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 - posted 05-25-2015 08:17 PM      Profile for Paul Mayer   Author's Homepage   Email Paul Mayer   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
LHR to SAN (using IATA codes) or EGLL to KSAN (using ICAO codes)... Seems to me that the bag tags would not be likely to be misread by either man or machine. Wonder how BA managed to lose a bag so completely on that flight???

When I worked at Allegiant in 'Vegas we had flights going to Bellingham, WA and Billings, MT on the same days, and at close to coincident departure times, so bags to both destinations were in the bag room going through the sort. The IATA bag tags are BLI and BIL respectively. Yeah we had a few bags go the wrong place almost every week - easy to do if the bag guys are in a hurry and/or understaffed. Nowadays the bag tags have barcodes that get scanned by a machine as well as manually read - so there should be even less chance of a misroute... but it still happens, even with our standard ramper rule, "If you touch the bag you read the tag."

I've always heard good things about KLM and their service. One of these days I hope to try them out.

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Scott Norwood
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 - posted 05-25-2015 08:27 PM      Profile for Scott Norwood   Author's Homepage   Email Scott Norwood   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Wow. Poor passengers. Not sure what is worse--having to deal with the stench or have a trip delayed by a day because of it.

My one and only round-trip with British Airways was last fall, when I visited London as a tourist. Nonstop BOS->LHR->BOS on 747s. Both flights were totally uneventful (in a good, on-time, no-lost-bags sort of way) and hassle-free. This was the first time in years that I have had hot food on a plane.

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Louis Bornwasser
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 - posted 05-26-2015 08:10 AM      Profile for Louis Bornwasser   Author's Homepage   Email Louis Bornwasser   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Have used KLM and Austrian to Europe with wonderful results. The trip really does start at the gate. Needless to say, nothing starts in Louisville. Is usually fly myself or drive to a gateway city the day before. (I'm retired.)

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Leo Enticknap
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 - posted 05-26-2015 08:49 PM      Profile for Leo Enticknap   Author's Homepage   Email Leo Enticknap   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
quote: Paul Mayer
...we had flights going to Bellingham, WA and Billings, MT on the same days, and at close to coincident departure times, so bags to both destinations were in the bag room going through the sort. The IATA bag tags are BLI and BIL respectively. Yeah we had a few bags go the wrong place almost every week...
At least it was only luggage ending up in the wrong place.

My local airport is now Ontario, California (ONT). Chatting to a gate agent there once, she told me that a passenger arrives who was trying to get to somewhere in the Province of Ontario, Canada "about once or twice a month". Apparently Toronto has a large Bangladeshi community, and so when people go to visit their relatives there, there are two or three travel agents in Dhaka who repeatedly book them on flights to ONT by mistake, probably because neither their English or their knowledge of North America's geography is that good.

Because these people need to get a visa to change planes at a US hub anyway, they arrive in Atlanta (or wherever), and once they're through customs and immigration, the airlines' agents see ONT on their documentation and just send them to the gate. Because the passengers speak little if any English, they're blissfully unaware that anything is wrong until they land at an airport 3,000 miles from where they want to be, and no-one is there to meet them.

This lady I was talking to wished that someone from Delta who spoke the Bangladeshi language would visit Dhaka and talk to these travel agents to prevent them from making this mistake with future customers. Apparently it's been going on for many years, it's always the same travel agent names she sees on the documentation of people who end up here by mistake and no-one seems willing to try to solve the problem.

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Frank Angel
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 - posted 06-08-2015 06:29 AM      Profile for Frank Angel   Author's Homepage   Email Frank Angel   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
BA need to carry THIS as part of the standard on-board emergency kit.

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System Notices
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It has been 657 days since the last post.


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Paul Mayer
Oh get out of it Melvin, before it pulls you under!

Posts: 3835
From: Albuquerque, NM
Registered: Feb 2000


 - posted 03-26-2017 06:02 PM      Profile for Paul Mayer   Author's Homepage   Email Paul Mayer   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I still can't resist: [evil] From Vice.com:

Questions That Still Need Answering: Two Years On from the Poo Plane

quote:

By Joel Golby - March 18, 2017

It has been two years since our lives changed forever. Perhaps you didn't feel it at the time – the gigantic forces and thrusts that keep a plane soaring high in the clouds above us become imperceptible waffles to us down here on the ground; the catastrophic anal events that led to its grounding a minor blip among all the collective atoms of the universe – but it happened, and we were all alive for it, and it has changed us. Some mysteries haunt the collective human psyche more than others; puzzles that will never be solved, no matter how many bright minds we throw at them: the Tamam Shud case, JFK, DB Cooper. Add to that: Whoever Done A Shit On A BA Flight To Dubai That Was So Bad The Plane Had To Turn Around And Come Back Again.

To recap: someone done a shit on a BA flight to Dubai two years ago, and the shit was so bad the plane had to turn around and come back again. Here's what we know, from the BBC:

A British Airways flight was forced to turn around because of a "smelly poo".

The plane was heading from Heathrow to Dubai on Thursday – a seven-hour flight.

Abhishek Sachdev, who was on board tweeted: "Insane. Our BA flight to Dubai returned back to Heathrow because of a smelly poo in the toilet."

Abhishek did not respond to a request for comment. Here's the BBC again:

He told a newspaper: "The pilot made an announcement requesting senior cabin crew, and we knew something was a bit odd.

"About 10 minutes later he said 'you may have noticed there's a quite pungent smell coming from one of the toilets'.

"He said it was liquid fecal excrement. Those are the words he used."

The plane had been airborne for just 30 minutes when it turned round.

The next available flight was 15 hours later, so passengers had to be put up in a hotel overnight.

A BA spokesperson – and, again, BA did not respond to a request for comment; nobody wants to talk about this, which only suggests a cover-up – told Radio 1 at the time: "When you're up at that altitude the cabin has to be pressurised, so the problem is that anything like that is actually a health and safety problem because only 50 percent of the air is being recycled and cleaned."

So we know what happened: someone did a shit so bad it endangered the air. We know the result: the plane turned around and landed, and a flight full of passengers spent a night at a hotel next to Heathrow. And we know what ensued: a mystery that has captivated a generation. But what still don't we know? What questions still aren't answered? Readers, help me with this mystery:

WHAT IS THE PILOT PROCEDURE WHEN DECIDING WHETHER TO TURN A PLANE AROUND AND LAND IT BECAUSE SOMEONE DID SHIT WRONG ALL UP AND OVER A TOILET?

Okay, so I watched Sully. Sully, in case you haven't seen it, is a film about a quiet and entirely white man landing a plane in a river. He did this because the plane hit just a shitload of birds on the way up after takeoff, and then the engine went, and then there wasn't really enough juice to get back to the airport or another airport nearby, so Sully – the main dude in Sully is called Sully – very carefully crashed the plane into the river. This film was terrible, by the way; I hated it. It could have been a really cool film – just a dude going "I CRASHED A PLANE IN A FUCKING RIVER AND EVERYONE LIVED, GET THE FUCK ON MY LEVEL!" for two hours – but instead it turned into this whole weird patriotic America-is-great thing, and then at the end of the film Real Sully came out and all the Real Passengers thanked him and started applauding him, and what could have been really boss turned into this gross kind of schmaltzfest. America.

Anyway, the main thing I learned from Sully is in case of emergencies and/or big decisions regarding the plight of an aeroplane and everybody on that aeroplane, pilots have to make very quick and decisive decisions, and stay very cool and calm. Sully from Sully did that, which is why they made a film called Sully. The pilot of the Heathrow–Dubai flight on that fateful day in March '15 also did that, which is why we are talking about it still now.

But what are the logistics of that? Did the flight attendant on the plane have to inspect the toilet first? At what point did they have to escalate that information to the pilot? Is there a special aviation code for this situation? "Sir, I'm so sorry to disturb you: we've got a real 104 in Toilet #5"? Did the pilot radio out for additional support? "Hey man, we, uh… we kind of got a, uh. Listen, I'll level with you: someone did a really bad shit up in here. Toilet stuff all over the place. Don't think it's cool to breathe that. Can we come home?" And there were skrt-ing sounds on the other end of the radio, and a long, long pause, and then somebody on the ground said: "Yes," they said: "Yes, it is probably best you turn this one around, Big Boy. We can't have that amount of shit sloshing around up there."

CONSIDER THIS: THE SHEER CLIQUENESS OF PLANE BATHROOMS

The 747-400 has 31 toilets on-board, but sometimes that seems to differ depending on which blueprint you look at. Among a maximum 416 passengers, that's a pretty high toilet:toilet needer ratio, but if that changes at all – I read one 747-400 spec that only seemed to have six toilets in it, and I figure toilet space is primo in case you need other facilities putting in there – then what happens, and you know this from every single time you have been on a plane, is queues form.

Now, aeroplane bathrooms are strange little places: crevices and cupboard-sized, with concertinaed doors, sinks that do a horrible juddering clunk instead of just washing water away, curious yellow lighting, all that. They are hard to navigate for a piss or shit at the best of times. It takes a while to get your business done in an aeroplane bathroom. You are doing a natural thing in an alien environment.

So add the queues of people that formed due to the insufficient toilet number situation to the extra time it takes to do shit in an aeroplane bathroom, and you have what's known as "a slightly bigger queue".

On an aeroplane, your focus drifts. You either lock yourself in with a movie, or pretend you are one of those people who can read on a plane who then immediately falls asleep, or you just sort of stare at headrests and wait for food to arrive. It is a curious world, detached from any anchor to the ground below it. You're stood in the queue for a bathroom. It's been a while. You are going to assess the faces of every single person stood before and behind you in that queue, out of sheer boredom.

What I am saying is: I can still recall about two of the faces of the people behind me when I waited for a piss on the last plane I took, in October. You think the person who took the Dubai poo plane, and was first to the toilet after the Dubai pooer, and saw the chaos they had wrought: you think that person doesn't know who did it? They know. Someone in that plane – they were in a queue and they lost their focus, then something terrible happened in a toilet – someone on that plane knows who did the shit.

WHAT MEETINGS AT BA DID THEY HAVE TO ADJUDICATE PASSENGER REPARATION?

Just imagining various high level executives in blazers and skirts yelling in an airily lit room at some airport somewhere, tap water in a jug on the table, pointing to each other, somewhere between baffled and furious, the executives, going, "I mean, it was a shit. How many people do we have to put up in a Travelodge?"

WHAT DID THE PERSON DOING THE SHIT EAT DIRECTLY BEFORE DOING THE SHIT?

Last year, on the previous anniversary of poo plane, I speculated about the identity of the shit doer – trying, Crimewatch-style, to daub a vague picture of the attacker – and I said that my overwhelming feeling was that it could have been a man: I am sorry about that. Many, many women have been in touch with me since to tell me about "period shits", a unique way of shitting women have that sounds bad. This throws my previous calculations way off: the gender of the shitter cannot truly be divined. We can only speculate now on the diet of the person who bought a plane down with their poop.

Here are some possibles that have been mooted: loads, and I mean loads, of Guinness and curry; Haribo sugar-free gummy bears; "Swedish food"; the "medium-rare chicken" meme that is going around a lot; I recall a warning sign on a lot of packets of Polos, back in the day, saying they were extremely laxative-like in high doses, so maybe the plane poo person ate a just fantastic amount of Polos. We have to figure there was something digestively amiss: the shit in question was both i. fetid and ii. not entirely in the toilet. The person who did it does not normally shit like that. It is to be presumed that – even now, two years later – they feel quite bad about it. But what food or food combination made it happen?

WHO. DID. THE POO.

I just don't know any more. This is going to haunt me to the grave. People have passed me tips in the past and they have always led to nothing: wild goose chases down Facebook, searching "checked in" tags for Dubai attractions, chasing up names that didn't exist. One guy tried to tell me he knew the shitter but would only identify them through elaborate bridge-troll riddles about what university they went to and where they grew up. I may never know. We may never know. I will drive myself mad on the desolate rock of The Plane Shitter.

If it is you: please, please, grant an interview with me. I promise absolute watertight anonymity. I will not alert the authorities. I am a sympathetic interviewer. I am nice. You can call me deepthroat-style on the office phone. I do not need to know your name. I just need to know the emotions: the panic, the despair, what that night in a Travelodge as a criminal felt like. How, with distance, do you feel about it now? Are you ready to talk? Please, poo plane doer, please: reach out to me. I am here. Solve this mystery for me before it rolls around to Year Three.


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Dennis Benjamin
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 - posted 03-26-2017 07:38 PM      Profile for Dennis Benjamin   Author's Homepage   Email Dennis Benjamin   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I once had an employee that worked for me that had to be asked to use a bathroom off premises.

When he used our customer bathroom, it smelled so bad, that we had the close the restroom off for up to half an hour after he used it.

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