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Author Topic: My good friend and brother committed suicide. Dave Williams Wet nipple scene Posts: 1836 From: Salt Lake City, UT, USA Registered: Jan 2000 posted 03-09-2007 07:55 AM                        I have not been able to sleep in two days. Two days ago I received word that my lodge brother and very close friend committed suicide. He apparently was having trouble with his girlfriend and hung himself by a belt tied to a pipe. This man, Trent Wade, was an amazing individual. In the last few years I have come to know him not just as my lodge brother, but more than many of my own real brothers. I had just been with him the day before, and there was no sign of this. I honestly cannot fathom how and why anyone could take their own life, but it happens so very often. I have had friends and family die before, and they have hit hard before. However never before has it really hit so close to the heart as this has. I felt that coming here and talking with all of you might help me get over some of the shock. Even through all the rampage of opinion that I have had with many here, I still consider this one of my closest family units. All of you are part of my family, and I would never trade that for anything. As many of us get older, more and more of our friends pass away from various calamities. It takes good friends to help us through it. I am glad that I have all of you. We are doing a full on masonic funeral for our fallen brother, and these things are quite the pomp and circumstance. I have been to two funerals in the last month, and frankly, I am getting sick of them. I think I need new babies to remind me of life again. I want to thank you all for allowing me to tell you of my friend and brother, and how his loss will change so many lives. I have said it before, but please do not forget to tell the ones you love how you feel, and do so very very often. Ciao  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 03-09-2007 08:40 AM                        Dave, my heart goes out to you and your brother Trent. I wish you well as you deal with his suicide. I have been in your shoes as family members and friends have taken their lives as well. I find solace in the fact that I can remember the good times I shared with them and as long as I live I will remember the. May God bless you and your memories of dear friends.  |  IP: Logged Rachel Craven Madam Moderator Posts: 2190 From: Pensacola, FL Registered: Dec 2000 posted 03-09-2007 01:30 PM                     I'm so sorry to hear this Dave. I couldn't even imagine having to go through what you are going through right now. Just know that you are in my thoughts...  |  IP: Logged Tim Reed Better Projection Pays Posts: 5246 From: Northampton, PA Registered: Sep 1999 posted 03-09-2007 05:31 PM                       Dear Dave, I'm very sorry that this has happened. I can imagine you have very mixed emotions right now, and what a shock it has been. Count your blessings and celebrate his life, as you have been uplifted by him during his time here. Our deepest condolences. We will be thinking of you, dear friend.  |  IP: Logged Bob Koch Expert Film Handler Posts: 183 From: williams ca Registered: Nov 2001 posted 03-09-2007 11:54 PM                     Dave" This a terrible time for you and I can`t think of anything I can say to really help.I`ve seen this happen;i.e.you see them the day before and nothing seems amiss then the next day you wake up and hear the horrible news. I`m a 50 year member of the Masonic order and I realize how terribly difficult this is to deal with. I`m with you, but you have to know there is nothing you could have done. Sincerely; Bob Koch  |  IP: Logged Joshua Waaland Jedi Master Film Handler Posts: 800 From: Cleveland, Ohio Registered: Dec 1999 posted 03-10-2007 12:16 AM                     Very sorry for your loss Dave. I know three people that have killed themselves in the last five years. One of them was my brother's best friend and another was my best friend's dad. It was hard enough when I wasn't that close to them. I can't imagine the pain you must be going through. Please know our prayers are with you.  |  IP: Logged Randy Stankey Film God Posts: 6539 From: Erie, Pennsylvania Registered: Jun 99 posted 03-10-2007 12:26 PM                     I'm sorry to hear the news, Dave. I know it's a really hard thing to go through. I can tell you from experience that when a person reaches such depths of depression that he considers suicide he truly thinks the world will be a better place if he isn't in it. He sees himself as being a load on all his friends and family members. He actually believes that, when he is gone, they will be better off. I know that sounds like a weird thing to say but most people who have never been depressed really can't fathom the mindset a depressed person gets into at the last stages of his illness. What I'm telling you is that you shouldn't beat yourself up about this. I know you feel sad at the loss of a friend and lodge brother but I guarantee there was probably NOTHING you could have done to prevent this. I know plenty of people who say things like, "If I had only BEEN THERE... If I had only done SOMETHING, this wouldn't have happened!" Depression is a medical illness just the same as cancer and heart disease. Cancer victims and heart patients usually die from internal organ failure but depressed patients die of their own actions. Other than that, there is little difference. Again, I know such a loss is a hard thing to take but I can't stress it enough: It wasn't your fault or anybody else's. [ 03-11-2007, 12:48 AM: Message edited by: Randy Stankey ]  |  IP: Logged Justin West Master Film Handler Posts: 271 From: Peoria, IL, USA Registered: Jul 2001 posted 03-10-2007 01:18 PM                     Dave, as you said, you were with him and for him just the day before...and your friend had to know that...but demons beyond your control took him out. Remember the good times you had...life is so fragile and short.  |  IP: Logged Dane Cash Film Handler Posts: 15 From: Hereford, Texas, Usa Registered: Dec 2003 posted 03-10-2007 08:22 PM                    I'm one of those Lurkers around these parts of the net, but It would be wrong of me to have read this and not respond. Dave I'm sorry for your loss. I'm not sure what it's like to lose a close one but I can imagine it's not too easy, especially someone that close. But all negativity aside, the memories of the friendship you had will live on forever. And Trust me, He will visit you from time to time, just be on the lookout for the signs and you'll know that he is around for your comfort. Again I'm sorry for your loss and I hope all is going good for you and keep your head up as I'm sure that's what he would want. Dane C.  |  IP: Logged Dave Williams Wet nipple scene Posts: 1836 From: Salt Lake City, UT, USA Registered: Jan 2000 posted 03-31-2007 05:09 AM                        I wanted to take a moment and thank those that gave their kind words. The last couple of weeks have not been easy, but the funeral actually was a great time that gave us all a good idea of what his life was all about. I was the fourth to speak, and told a few jokes that he had bestowed upon me. It got people laughing and remembering what life was like for him. After that, person after person came up and talked about the funny stuff and the good stuff. It really helped. I shed my share of tears, but we all had a great time remembering him for the short time he was here on this earth. That day, after the funeral, my wife and I took a walk for several hours. It hurt like crazy to walk nearly three miles. For those that may not know it, I am disabled now and cannot walk hardly at all. I was so filled with the spirit and will of life that I just could not be contained any longer by walls, I had to get out. I will miss his company, but I will remember his great sense of humor, his lust for life, and his desire to do things his own way, in his own time. Once again, thank you all. Ciao  |  IP: Logged

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