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Author Topic: The Birds
Jerry Chase
Phenomenal Film Handler

Posts: 1068
From: Margate, FL, USA
Registered: Nov 2000


 - posted 03-26-2001 02:06 PM      Profile for Jerry Chase   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Warning - odd humor ahead

I happened to be watching Hitchcock's strange film "The Birds" the other night, and I suddenly had a thought that made me sit up straight and realize just how much I accept things at face value, without questioning the obvious, no matter how macabre. In the spirit of truth in movies, and in hopes of understanding life more fully, I've decided to share the mind-numbing question that suddenly and without provocation came into my mind while pondering Hitchcock's brilliance.

My bet is that even with the combined talent of all of us in the forum, we may be hard pressed to find the one true answer to this film related question, secretly posed by both "The Birds" and "High Anxiety." Since this is a question that has begged an answer for thousands of years, I think we'll need to give our research the best shot.

If you don't have the foggiest idea of an answer, ask the question of everyone you know. Perhaps, by happy fortune, some person will be able to impart the secret and explain things. If the people you ask doesn't have an answer, please enlist their support and aid. Tell them to ask their friends and report back to you if they do find the answer. Post the answers here. What is the question? The question is... How do birds get their shit so pure white, when every other animal shits brown or black?!? Bird seed isn't white. Insects aren't white. Fruit and berries aren't white. What the @#$% is going on here? Do birds carry little bottles of bleach under their wings? Does this all somehow relate to the ability to fly? If you shit white, can you fly? Or is there something about flapping your arms rapidly that turns shit pure white and runny? In loving memory of a great director, we need an answer to these questions. Yeah, I know. I've been watching too much Hitchcock. Time to get back to work.



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John Pytlak
Film God

Posts: 9987
From: Rochester, NY 14650-1922
Registered: Jan 2000


 - posted 03-26-2001 02:31 PM      Profile for John Pytlak   Author's Homepage   Email John Pytlak   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Jerry: Your automobile is obviously never parked under a tree where the birds eat colored berries.

------------------
John P. Pytlak, Senior Technical Specialist
Worldwide Technical Services, Entertainment Imaging
Eastman Kodak Company
Research Labs, Building 69, Room 7419
Rochester, New York, 14650-1922 USA
Tel: 716-477-5325 Cell: 716-781-4036 Fax: 716-722-7243
E-Mail: john.pytlak@kodak.com
Web site: http://www.kodak.com/go/motion

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Adam Martin
I'm not even gonna point out the irony.

Posts: 3686
From: Dallas, TX
Registered: Nov 2000


 - posted 03-26-2001 03:03 PM      Profile for Adam Martin   Author's Homepage   Email Adam Martin       Edit/Delete Post 
Ok, you asked for it!

Bird poop is white because of the solid urine material contained in it, as opposed to the clear liquid urine. Other colors come from the feces portion, generated from solid food (purple berry poop).

If you're dyin' to know more, go to http://www.acstiels.com/poop-ology.htm .

God, the stuff I've learned at the theater.


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Bob Maar
(Maar stands for Maartini)


Posts: 28608
From: New York City & Newport, RI
Registered: Feb 2001


 - posted 03-26-2001 03:12 PM      Profile for Bob Maar   Author's Homepage   Email Bob Maar   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Brown or Black ? I thought everyone was White or Blue. Brown or Black must have an odor to it?

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Paul G. Thompson
The Weenie Man

Posts: 4718
From: Mount Vernon WA USA
Registered: Nov 2000


 - posted 03-26-2001 03:32 PM      Profile for Paul G. Thompson   Email Paul G. Thompson   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
just goes to show - a bird in the hand is safer than one overhead....

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Tom Sauter
Expert Film Handler

Posts: 163
From: Buffalo, NY, USA
Registered: Sep 2000


 - posted 03-26-2001 03:32 PM      Profile for Tom Sauter   Author's Homepage   Email Tom Sauter   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Since you mentioned The Birds, I happened to be screening it last week and recalled an experience I had while in college that TOTALLY spooked me out.

Rochester, NY, is on a migration route frequented by flocks of crows. Crows are unusually smart birds (much like their raven cousins.) I was working graveyard shift as a security guard on my college campus during winter recess and was one of perhaps three people within a half-mile radius. I walked out of one of the dorms and decided to patrol the jogging path along the river. I walked about 100 yards when I heard a soft "caw" from a tree overhead. I looked up to see THOUSANDS of crows silently roosting in the trees above me. They stretched as far as I could see in the moonlight.

I quickly walked back inside.

Needless to say, I get chills down my spine every time I screen that movie!

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Jerry Chase
Phenomenal Film Handler

Posts: 1068
From: Margate, FL, USA
Registered: Nov 2000


 - posted 03-26-2001 03:33 PM      Profile for Jerry Chase   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
John, The birds in Florida are huge. A recent newspaper article about an escaped emu told of callers to 911 describing "a six foot chicken wandering across I-95." I don't think I want one pooping on my car, whether it eats berries or not.

Adam, I got to the end of the article and choked at "Watch your bird’s droppings everyday..." Errr, I think I've got other things to do. It was an informative and quick answer though. Film-techers really know their shit.


Bob, Are you saying you are a bird brain?


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Bob Maar
(Maar stands for Maartini)


Posts: 28608
From: New York City & Newport, RI
Registered: Feb 2001


 - posted 03-26-2001 03:45 PM      Profile for Bob Maar   Author's Homepage   Email Bob Maar   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Jerry, ah! no, but I think Tom is a Scared Crow!

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Paul G. Thompson
The Weenie Man

Posts: 4718
From: Mount Vernon WA USA
Registered: Nov 2000


 - posted 03-26-2001 04:05 PM      Profile for Paul G. Thompson   Email Paul G. Thompson   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Don't stand on the weather decks of a Washington State Ferry as it leaves the dock. You might get bombarded...

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Paul Cunningham
Expert Film Handler

Posts: 146
From: Melbourne, Australia
Registered: Jun 2000


 - posted 03-26-2001 04:47 PM      Profile for Paul Cunningham   Email Paul Cunningham   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Hi Jerry

Come to Oz and see heaps of wild "6 foot chickens" running around everywhere (in the country of course!)

Paul

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Betsie Beadling
Expert Film Handler

Posts: 178
From: Fairfax, Virginia, USA
Registered: Sep 2000


 - posted 03-26-2001 06:46 PM      Profile for Betsie Beadling   Email Betsie Beadling   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Purple Berry Bird Poop
Ha ha haa

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Randy Stankey
Film God

Posts: 6539
From: Erie, Pennsylvania
Registered: Jun 99


 - posted 03-27-2001 12:31 AM      Profile for Randy Stankey   Email Randy Stankey   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I was a lifeguard at the beach just out of High School. I absolutely HATED it when people thought it was "cute" to feed the seagulls. These people get to go HOME when they are done feeding them... while I have to stay there with a flock of just-fed gulls flying overhead.



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Dick Vaughan
Phenomenal Film Handler

Posts: 1032
From: Bradford, West Yorkshire, UK
Registered: Jul 2000


 - posted 03-27-2001 06:17 AM      Profile for Dick Vaughan   Author's Homepage   Email Dick Vaughan   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Paul

I was always told a bird in the hand craps on your wrist!!

Also just be happy elephants don't have wings

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Bruce McGee
Phenomenal Film Handler

Posts: 1776
From: Asheville, NC USA... Nowhere in Particular.
Registered: Aug 1999


 - posted 03-27-2001 10:10 AM      Profile for Bruce McGee   Email Bruce McGee   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Just when I thought things couldn't get any worse, THIS topic arrives!

Hitch's "The Birds" still gives me the creeps.

This morning, I found what I thought was bird poo all over the vinyl top on my car. At first I thought that an eagle was passing overhead...

I looked up expecting to get a mud pie in the face!

Then I found that I have squirrels in the large tree beside the garage. Yuuck!

I need to park the car elsewhere. Squirrel-poo does not just rinse off like the bird-doo does, and your car paint will fade in as little as 24 hours under the "gift."

You sure cant say that this site is boring, Eh?

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Paul G. Thompson
The Weenie Man

Posts: 4718
From: Mount Vernon WA USA
Registered: Nov 2000


 - posted 03-28-2001 12:42 AM      Profile for Paul G. Thompson   Email Paul G. Thompson   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Dick, you have to make sure the bird's butt is pointing in a different quadrant.

And, yes on those elephants. Worse yet, can you imagine those dinosaur birds back in the dinosaur days? Wow! That would flatten a Volkswagen!

Remember the seagull in a Mel Brooks movie? Now, THAT was a dump!

Speaking of elephants, you will not believe this (then maybe you will). I remember in 1946 when I was only 6 years old the County Fair came to town. They had elephants, too. Well, I was walking along when I tripped over a freshly deposited elephant pie, and fell face first into the next one! Was kind of a crappy experience, obviously.

Just goes to show how far back you can remember things.

Oh, well! At least I admitted it.


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