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» Film-Tech Forum   » Community   » Bob Maar's Joke-A-Thon   » Tiger Woods

   
Author Topic: Tiger Woods
Fred Georges
Master Film Handler

Posts: 257
From: Lombard, IL, USA
Registered: Jun 2000


 - posted 12-14-2009 01:57 PM      Profile for Fred Georges   Email Fred Georges   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Q. What do Tiger Woods & a Baby seal have in common?

A. They both get clubbed in the Head by Swedes! [Big Grin]

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Jonathan Althaus
Master Film Handler

Posts: 435
From: Bedford, TX
Registered: Dec 2008


 - posted 12-14-2009 02:17 PM      Profile for Jonathan Althaus   Email Jonathan Althaus   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Q. Whats the difference between a golf ball and an SUV?

A. Tiger Woods can drive the ball more than 50 feet.

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Paul Mayer
Oh get out of it Melvin, before it pulls you under!

Posts: 3833
From: Albuquerque, NM
Registered: Feb 2000


 - posted 12-14-2009 07:41 PM      Profile for Paul Mayer   Author's Homepage   Email Paul Mayer   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Tiger's got a new movie out: Crouching Tiger, Hidden Hydrant.

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Ian Parfrey
Phenomenal Film Handler

Posts: 1049
From: Imbil Australia 26 deg 27' 42.66" S 152 deg 42' 23.40" E
Registered: Feb 2009


 - posted 12-14-2009 09:24 PM      Profile for Ian Parfrey   Email Ian Parfrey   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
The police asked Tiger's wife how many times she hit him. "I can't remember," Elin said, "just put me down for a 5."

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Alex Edwards
Expert Film Handler

Posts: 114
From: Iowa
Registered: Aug 2009


 - posted 12-15-2009 11:34 PM      Profile for Alex Edwards   Email Alex Edwards       Edit/Delete Post 
Q:What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods?

A:Santa stopped after 3 Ho's

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Paul Mayer
Oh get out of it Melvin, before it pulls you under!

Posts: 3833
From: Albuquerque, NM
Registered: Feb 2000


 - posted 12-16-2009 03:58 AM      Profile for Paul Mayer   Author's Homepage   Email Paul Mayer   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Q: What the difference between Tiger's car driving and his short game?

A: He can back up a wedge.

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Gordon Bachlund
Jedi Master Film Handler

Posts: 650
From: Monrovia, CA, USA
Registered: Aug 1999


 - posted 01-27-2010 02:35 PM      Profile for Gordon Bachlund   Author's Homepage   Email Gordon Bachlund   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Rated PG...

An American woodpecker and a Canadian woodpecker were in America, arguing about which country had the toughest trees. The American woodpecker claimed America had a tree that no woodpecker could peck. The Canadian woodpecker accepted his challenge and promptly pecked a hole in the tree with no problem. The American woodpecker was amazed.

The Canadian woodpecker then challenged the American woodpecker to peck a tree in Canada that was absolutely 'impeccable' (a term frequently used by woodpeckers). The American woodpecker expressed confidence that he could do it and accepted the challenge.

The two of them flew to Canada where the American woodpecker successfully pecked the so-called 'impeccable' tree almost without breaking a sweat.

Both woodpeckers were now terribly confused. How is it that the Canadian woodpecker was able to peck the American tree, and the American woodpecker was able to peck the Canadian tree, yet neither was able to peck the tree in their own country?

After much woodpecker pondering, they both came to the same conclusion: Apparently, Tiger Woods was right when he said your pecker gets harder when you're away from home.

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