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» Film-Tech Forum   » Community   » Bob Maar's Joke-A-Thon   » Child of the "Sexy Sixties" Quiz

Author Topic: Child of the "Sexy Sixties" Quiz
Robert Harrison
Expert Film Handler

Posts: 239
From: Harwood Heights, Illinois, USA
Registered: Jun 2005

 - posted 07-31-2005 10:55 PM      Profile for Robert Harrison   Email Robert Harrison   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 

Are you a child of the "Sexy Sixties," the 1960's, that is? Then, take this quiz to see how you became the person you are today.

Which of the following statements most applies to how you felt when men landed on the moon?
A) I was proud to be an American.
B) I was somewhat put off by the thought of those astronauts leaving their bags of poop up there.
C) I was terribly agitated when all of that live television coverage pre-empted "Star Trek."
D) I was totally devastated when no Moon Maidens were found there.

When you first saw the John Wayne movie "The Green Berets," which of the following thoughts crossed your mind?
A) I want to enlist in the armed forces and fight in Viet Nam.
B) I don't have to worry anymore about being drafted; with John Wayne over there, the war will be over in no time.
C) Why is Mr. Sulu in this film instead of Gomer Pyle?
D) I sure hope the second feature tonight has some women in it.

Which of the female characters on "The Dick Van Dyke Show" would you most like to date?
A) Laura Petrie, because she's so beautiful.
B) Sally Rogers, because she's so desperate.
C) Millie Helper, because you're so desperate.
D) "Pickles" Sorrell, because you're certain that she got that name from having a love of sucking on hard, rounded objects.

What was the most common disappointment you experienced when you used to go see movies at a drive-in theatre?
A) James Bond was never able to bring Blofeld to justice.
B) Making the mistake of thinking that those "Rat Pack" movies were going to be cartoons about singing rodents.
C) The realization that Annette Funicello was never going to run around naked in those "Beach Party" movies.
D) Finding an "OUT OF ORDER" sign on the condom dispenser in the men's room.

This final question is the most revealing, so answer it truthfully. If you were trapped on Gilligan's Island, how long after being shipwrecked would it be before you would lose all control and thoroughly rape Ginger, Mary Ann AND Mrs. Howell?
A) Two years.
B) Two months.
C) Two weeks.
D) Two minutes.

And now, let's see what your answers say about you.

If you picked mostly A, you are in the minority of upstanding, moral citizens. You only use your genitals for urination and procreation, with the latter only up to the national average of 2.5 children.

If you picked mostly B, sex is an important part of your life, but not the be-all and end-all. You have other things going on inside your head. Some of these, however, are voices which shouldn't be there, but overall, you are harmless.

If you picked mostly C, you reside in a gray area. You haven't made up your mind which is more important; having sex or watching filmed entertainment. Fortunately, you have discovered that you can do BOTH, thanks to the advent of reasonably priced virtual sex DVDs.

If you picked mostly D, CONGRATULATIONS! You are in the majority of sex-obsessed Americans! It permeates your mind to the extent that you probably bought a copy of "Bambi" only because you thought it was a stag film. But, don't feel bad. Remember, in America, the majority rules!

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