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Author Topic: Most Embarrasing Moments Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 11-12-2003 01:17 PM                        Rated XXX Anonomous Most embarassing moments: When you're in a very serious relationship there comes a point where you just dont care to do certain things in front of your partner. But this particular day everything had changed when my boyfriend and I were almost in our "grand finale" in our love making 'session'. But me of course,I wanted to act all expertised a little bit and had heard about women using their vaginal PC muscles to create a pleasurable squeeze to the male private part during intercourse to prolong orgasm. Well I went ahead and tried to practice it on him and just before he wasabout to... "Ahem!" 'cum',I had squeezed so freaking hard that instead of hearing his lovely musical sigh of satisfaction, instead we heard this GIGANTIC LOUD FART I had let out!!! My boyfriend completely rolled on the floor laughing while I tried to do the same but still I felt so embarrased.Luckily for me,we have a great sense of humor even in the intimacy,but we BOTH couldn't get over MY musical note for weeks!!!  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 01-13-2004 02:59 PM                        Rated G Ed in Aurora, Ont. I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow andAsked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a Blow job?" Iturned around and walked back out and never went back.My husband didn't say a word... he knew better. ******************************************************* I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I wasunhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing forseveral minutes,I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store.He asked if he could help me. Without thinking,I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 01-13-2004 08:04 PM                        Rated PG Cristine in Georgetown My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts. As! we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied,"No,I'm just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically,the boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away.To this day,my sister has never let me forget.  |  IP: Logged System Notices Forum Watchdog / Soup Nazi Posts: 215 Registered: Apr 2004 posted 09-15-2005 10:57 AM                 It has been 610 days since the last post.  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 09-15-2005 10:57 AM                        Rated PG Allison God, this is humiliating... a year ago, when I was sixteen, i bought this shirt that has a zipper down the front so its kinda like a jacket, but its a shirt. well, I wore it to school one day without a bra underneath. I unzipped the zipper almost halfway down so it will "look good". well, you know that zippers tend to unzip sometimes by themselves...so at my first class we had a test that took almost an hour. I sat down and wrote it...blah blah blah...but when I got up to hand the paper in, I realized the zipper had slid almost all the way down! too late--before I could stop it the shoulders slipped down my arms and my shirt was just a bundle at my waist, leaving my boobs exposed for everyone to see! ughh! and I was in front of my teacher too, who happened to be a male. When i got my test back, my teacher had drawn a smiley face and next to it he wrote, "thanks for the great show!" sooo embarrassing...  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 09-16-2005 08:57 AM                        Rated G One day when my friend Ryan was over spending the night and we were playing a game of truth or dare! As the game raged one for hours Ryan dared me to wear one of my 6-year-old (bed wetting) brother's diapers for the night. We made a rule that no "really bad" dares could be turned down so I had no choice. I quietly went down-stairs and into the bath room. I opened the cupboard and saw what I didn't want to see: two packs of pull-ups training pants. I slide one on and and with a weird feeling inside, I dashed back up stairs. Ryan continued pulling down my PJ bottom to see me wearing the soft training pants! Later that night, while I was asleep, Ryan secretly turned off my clock for school in the morning! We woke up really late (but still had about 10 minutes for the bus)and all we did was grabbed some cloths and a candy bar because there was no time to sit and eat a nice breakfast. We made it to the bus on time (wow) and had all of our things. Almost at the school, Ryan bent over a said "Your still wearing those training panties aren't you?" He whispered. "No" I stammered and put my arm down. As I put my arm down I heard a crinkling noise! "Oh-no!" I got really quiet. "I didn't change the training panties!" We were at school by now. with ever step I took I was able to hear and feel the soft cotton diapers hugging me. At about 12:30 (outside at lunch) I was just walking and Ryan comes up and de-pants me!!!!!!!!! I trip while this happens and when I trip Ryan grabbed my pants a started dashing off! I sat on the ground wearing a diapers and a T-shirt. Laughter came from all sides. never played a game like that again!  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 10-24-2005 06:52 AM                        Rated G Lorraine An unhappy child was crying loudly during the church service. When the senior usher motioned for me to speak to the child's mother, I walked up the aisle and whispered to her, "Could you please take your baby to the nursery?" She gave me an odd look, and I repeated my request. Without a word she picked up her belongings and left with her baby. I returned to the back of the sanctuary. Almost immediately the crying resumed from the pews in front of me. I had asked the wrong mother to leave.  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 03-12-2006 09:28 PM                        Rated G Lorraine I told the son of a friend whose wake I was attending that I had some food I wanted to leave with him. He gave me the keys to his car, which was parked directly in front of the funeral home. I unlocked the door, left the food and pushed the button to lock the door again. But the horn started to blast, and although I pushed all the buttons I could see, it continued honking relentlessly. Finally, Edward appeared. "Mother always wanted a lot of fanfare when she departed," he smiled.  |  IP: Logged System Notices Forum Watchdog / Soup Nazi Posts: 215 Registered: Apr 2004 posted 12-15-2008 02:00 PM                 It has been 1008 days since the last post.  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 12-15-2008 02:00 PM                        Rated R THE GOOD NAPKINS .. Ahhhhh .. The joys of having Girls .... My mother taught me to read when I was four years old (her first mistake). One day, I was in the bathroom and noticed one of the cabinet doors was ajar. I read the box in the cabinet. I then asked my mother why she was keeping ''napkins' in the bathroom. Didn't they belong in the kitchen? Not wanting to burden me with unnecessary facts, she told me that those were for 'special occasions' (her second mistake). Now fast forward a few months....It's Thanksgiving Day, and my folks are leaving to pick up my uncle and his wife. We were all given assignments while they were gone. Mine was to set the table. When they returned, my uncle came in first and immediately burst into laughter. Next came his wife who gasped, then began giggling. Next came my father, who roared with laughter. Then came Mom, who almost died of embarrassment when she saw each place setting on the table with a 'special occasion' Kotex napkin at each plate, with the fork carefully arranged on top. I had even tucked the little tail in so they didn't hang off the edge!! My mother asked me why I used these and, of course, my response sent the other adults into further fits of laughter. 'But, Mom, you said they were for special occasions!!! Pass this on to your girlfriends who need a good laugh or anyone who has a daughter! Life is too short for drama & petty things, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly....and for heavens sake, use the good napkins whenever you can.  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 05-10-2009 09:36 AM                        Rated X Jokester Most Embarrassing Moments 1. "While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amuck. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now", she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, "if you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!". The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing! I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me were screams of laughter." 2. "It was the day before my eighteenth birthday. I was living at home, but my parents had gone out for the evening so I invited my girlfriend over for a romantic night alone. As we lay in bed after making love, we heard the telephone ring downstairs. I suggested to my girlfriend that I give her a piggyback ride to the phone. Since we didn't want to miss the call, we didn't have time to get dressed. When we got to the bottom of the stairs, the lights suddenly came on and a whole crowd of people yelled, "SURPRISE!" My entire family - aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, and all my friends were standing there! My girlfriend and I were frozen in a state of shock and embarrassment for what seemed like an eternity. Since then, no one in my family has planned a surprise party again." 3. One of the funniest "most embarrassing moment" stories I've come upon in a long time was about a lady who picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally got up to the checkout, she learned that one of her items had no price tag. Imagine her embarrassment when the checker got on the intercom and boomed out for all the store to hear: 'PRICE CHECK ON LANE THIRTEEN. TAMPAX, SUPERSIZE'. That was bad enough, but somebody at the rear of the store apparently misunderstood the word tampax' for THUMBTACKS'. In a businesslike tone, a voice boomed back over the intercom: 'DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU POUND IN WITH A HAMMER?' 4. This one actually happened at Harvard University in October of last year in a biology class: The professor was discussing the high glucose levels found in semen. A young female (freshman) raised her hand and asked, "If I understand, you're saying there is a lot of glucose in male semen as in sugar?" "That is correct," responded the professor, going on to add statistical info. Raising her hand again the girl asked "Then why doesn't it taste sweet?" After a stunned silence the whole class burst out laughing, the poor girl's face turned bright red, and as she realized exactly what she had inadvertently said (or rather implied), she picked up her books without a word and walked out of the class and never returned. However, as she was going out the door, the Professor's reply was classic..."because the taste-buds for sweetness are on the tip of your tongue and not the back of your throat".  |  IP: Logged System Notices Forum Watchdog / Soup Nazi Posts: 215 Registered: Apr 2004 posted 10-21-2018 04:36 PM                 It has been 3451 days since the last post.  |  IP: Logged Gordon Bachlund Jedi Master Film Handler Posts: 696 From: Monrovia, CA, USA Registered: Aug 1999 posted 10-21-2018 04:36 PM                        Rated G...... The wedding ceremony came to the point where the minister asked if anyone had anything to say concerning the union of the bride and groom. The moment of utter silence was broken when a beautiful young woman carrying a child stood up. She starts walking slowly towards the minister. The congregation was aghast - you could almost hear a pin drop. The groom's jaw dropped as he stared in disbelief at the approaching young woman and child. Chaos ensued. The bride threw the bouquet into the air and burst out crying. Then the groom's mother fainted. The best men started giving each other looks and wondering how to save the situation. The minister asked the woman, "Can you tell us why you came forward ? What do you have to say ?" There was absolute silence in the church. The woman replied, "We can't hear you in the back."  |  IP: Logged

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