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» Film-Tech Forum   » Community   » Bob Maar's Joke-A-Thon   » Knock-Knock (Page 1)

 
This topic comprises 4 pages: 1  2  3  4 
 
Author Topic: Knock-Knock
Bob Maar
(Maar stands for Maartini)


Posts: 28608
From: New York City & Newport, RI
Registered: Feb 2001


 - posted 07-27-2001 01:09 PM      Profile for Bob Maar   Author's Homepage   Email Bob Maar   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Rated G

"Knock, Knock!"

"Who's there?"

"Emerson."

"Emerson who?"

"Emerson nice tits ya got there!"

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Bob Maar
(Maar stands for Maartini)


Posts: 28608
From: New York City & Newport, RI
Registered: Feb 2001


 - posted 09-05-2001 02:38 PM      Profile for Bob Maar   Author's Homepage   Email Bob Maar   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Rated G


Knock-Knock.

Who's there?

Dishes.

Dishes who?

Dishes a very bad joke.   

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Bob Maar
(Maar stands for Maartini)


Posts: 28608
From: New York City & Newport, RI
Registered: Feb 2001


 - posted 09-05-2001 02:41 PM      Profile for Bob Maar   Author's Homepage   Email Bob Maar   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Rated G

* Knock-knock!*

Who's there?

Doris*

Doris who?*

Doris locked, that's why I had to knock!   

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Bob Maar
(Maar stands for Maartini)


Posts: 28608
From: New York City & Newport, RI
Registered: Feb 2001


 - posted 09-05-2001 08:01 PM      Profile for Bob Maar   Author's Homepage   Email Bob Maar   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Rated G

Knock Knock!

Who's there?

Ether,

Ether Who?

The Ether Bunny

Knock Knock!

Who's there?

Anna

Anna Who?

Ann another Ether Bunny

Knock Knock!

Who's there?

Samoa

Samoa Who"

Samoa Ether Bunnys!

Knock Knock!

Who's there? Orange

Orange Who?

ORANGE YOU GONNA DO SOMETHING ABOUT ALL THESE ETHER BUNNYS?

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Bob Maar
(Maar stands for Maartini)


Posts: 28608
From: New York City & Newport, RI
Registered: Feb 2001


 - posted 09-05-2001 08:03 PM      Profile for Bob Maar   Author's Homepage   Email Bob Maar   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Rated G

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Dwayne.

Dwayne who?

Dwayne the tub, I'm drowning!   

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John Wilson
Film God

Posts: 5436
From: Sydney, Australia.
Registered: Dec 1999


 - posted 09-07-2001 06:57 AM      Profile for John Wilson   Email John Wilson   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Knock Knock...

Who's there?

Knock Knock...

Who's there?

Knock Knock...

Who's there?

Knock Knock...

Who's there?

Knock Knock...

Who's there?

Knock Knock...

Who's there?

Knock Knock...

Who's there?

Knock Knock...

Who's there?

Phillip Glass.

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John Wilson
Film God

Posts: 5436
From: Sydney, Australia.
Registered: Dec 1999


 - posted 09-07-2001 07:01 AM      Profile for John Wilson   Email John Wilson   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
It's amazing how many people fall for this one...try it...

Person 1: "Say Knock Knock..."

Person 2: "Knock Knock"

Person 1: "Who's there?"

Works almost every time.


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Bob Maar
(Maar stands for Maartini)


Posts: 28608
From: New York City & Newport, RI
Registered: Feb 2001


 - posted 09-07-2001 07:24 AM      Profile for Bob Maar   Author's Homepage   Email Bob Maar   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Rated R

This Knock-Knock joke is done with an Italian accent,

Knocka, Knocka

Whosa Therea

I'ma

I'ma whoa

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Bob Maar
(Maar stands for Maartini)


Posts: 28608
From: New York City & Newport, RI
Registered: Feb 2001


 - posted 09-28-2001 04:16 PM      Profile for Bob Maar   Author's Homepage   Email Bob Maar   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 


Rated PG


"Knock, Knock!"

"Who's there?"

"Emerson."

"Emerson who?"

"Emerson nice tits ya got there!"

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Bob Maar
(Maar stands for Maartini)


Posts: 28608
From: New York City & Newport, RI
Registered: Feb 2001


 - posted 10-17-2001 08:10 AM      Profile for Bob Maar   Author's Homepage   Email Bob Maar   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Rated R

A DJ for a local radio station in Houston, Texas thought his job was really boring. So, he decided to have a knock-knock joke day where he would go around town, and ask people to tell knock-knock jokes.

He publicized it widely to be sure that everyone would be ready with a joke to tell. Then, he hit the streets J: "Hello everyone, are you ready for knock-knock joke day?!?!"

He looked around, but the only person he saw was a drunk under a lampost. He thought, eh, what the hell, it's worth a shot.DJ: "Excuse me sir, did you know that today is knock-knock joke day?"

Drunk: "As a matter a fact, I didn't"

DJ: "Well, it is. Do you have a knock-knock joke for us?"

Drunk: "As a matter a fact, I do"

DJ: "Can you tell it to us?"

Drunk: "Knock-Knock"

DJ: "Who's there?"

Drunk: "Argo"

DJ: "Argo who"

Drunk: "Ar, go fuck yourself!"

After this, the DJ was fired for letting someone swear on the air. He then dedicated his whole life to making a knock-knock joke dictionary with every single knock-knock joke, so he would know if a joke was inappropriate. After 6 years of traveling the world, he came back to the radio station and asked for his job back. Once he had convinced them to take him back, he decided to have another knock-knock joke day.

So, he hit the streets again: DJ: "Hello everybody, it's time to hear some knock-knock jokes"The only person he saw was the same drunk under the same lampost. But since he had his dictionary with him, he figured he had nothing to lose.

DJ: "Excuse me sir, did you know that today is knock-knock joke day?"

Drunk: "As a matter a fact, I did"

DJ: "So do you have a knock-knock joke for us?"

Drunk: "As a matter a fact, I do"

DJ: "Well, can you tell us?"

Drunk: "Knock-Knock"

DJ: "Who's there?"Drunk: "Mary"

The DJ quickly looked through his dictionary under Mary. When he didn't find anything bad, he got a smirk on his face and said DJ: "Mary who?"

Drunk: "Ar, go fuck yourself!"

The DJ was fired again.


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Bob Maar
(Maar stands for Maartini)


Posts: 28608
From: New York City & Newport, RI
Registered: Feb 2001


 - posted 10-17-2001 08:33 AM      Profile for Bob Maar   Author's Homepage   Email Bob Maar   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Rated G


Knock-Knock.

Who's there?

The owl says.

The owl says who?

Exactly.

Madam Foot

Knock-Knock,

Who's There?

Madam.

Madam Who?

Open Up! Madam Foot Is Caught In the Door!


Sneeze

Knock Knock

Who's there?

Atch.

Atch-who?

Bless you!


Luke

Knock-Knock.

Who's there?

Luke.

Luke who?

Luke through the window and you'll see.


Yahoo & Excite

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Yah.

Yah who?

Yahoo? Why are you so Excited?

Roach

Knock-knock

Who's there?

Roach.

Roach who?

Roach you a letter-did you get it?

Wooden Shoe

Knock-knock

Who's there?

Wooden shoe.

Wooden shoe who?

Wooden shoe like to know.

Jamaican

Knock, Knock

Who's there?

Jamaican.

Jamaican who?

Jamaican me crazy!


Dishes


Knock, knock

Who's there?

Dishes.

Dishes who?

Dishes me. Who ish you?

Cow

Knock Knock

Who is there?

Cow...

Cow who?

Cow don't who, cow mooooooo.....!!!

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Bob Maar
(Maar stands for Maartini)


Posts: 28608
From: New York City & Newport, RI
Registered: Feb 2001


 - posted 10-18-2001 10:11 AM      Profile for Bob Maar   Author's Homepage   Email Bob Maar   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Rated G

Hammy


Knock knock.

Who's there?

Hammy.

Hammy who?

Hammy the salt please.

Snow


Knock Knock...

Who's there?

Snow...

Snow who?

Snow use - I can't remember

Orange-Banana


Knock-Knock
Whos there?
Banana
Banana who?

Knock-Knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?

Knock-Knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?

Knock-knock
Who's there
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

Ben


Knock-Knock.
Who's there?
Ben.
Ben who?
Ben knocking on the door all afternoon.


Great one


YOU: Okay, I have a great knock knock joke... You start...
THEM: Knock-Kncok
YOU: Who's There?
THEM: ???? (always gets a laugh)

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Bob Maar
(Maar stands for Maartini)


Posts: 28608
From: New York City & Newport, RI
Registered: Feb 2001


 - posted 10-18-2001 10:17 AM      Profile for Bob Maar   Author's Homepage   Email Bob Maar   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Rated G

Old lady


Knock knock

Who's there?

Old lady

Old lady who (yodeladywho)?

I didn't know you knew how to yodel!

Olive


Knock Knock.
Whos there?
Olive.
Olive who?
I Love You!

Cargo


Knock Knock.

Who's there?

Cargo.

Cargo who?

Cargo beep beep.

Jelly Beans


Knock-Knock.
Who's there?
Ken.
Ken who?
Ken I give you some jelly beans?


Knock-Knock.
Who's there?
Tommy.
Tommy who?
Tommy ache'cause I ate all the jelly beans.

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Bob Maar
(Maar stands for Maartini)


Posts: 28608
From: New York City & Newport, RI
Registered: Feb 2001


 - posted 10-22-2001 03:33 PM      Profile for Bob Maar   Author's Homepage   Email Bob Maar   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Rated G

Gorilla

Knock Knock

Who's there?

Gorilla

Gorilla Who?

Gorilla me a burger I'm hungry!

Butternut

Knock Knock.

Who's there?

Butternut.

Butternut who?

utternut tell me you aren't home!

Abby

Knock-Knock

who's there?

Abby

Abby who?

Abby Birthday to you!

Police


Knock-Knock.

Who is there?

Police.

Police who?

Police button your pants!


Police

Knock Knock...

Who's there?

Police...

Police who?

Police let me in. I'm freezing out here!


Knock knock.

Who's there?

Eye.

Eye who?

Eye eat my hamburgers


Ghost

Knock-knock.

Who's there?

Boo.

Boo who?

Don't cry it's just a joke!


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Bob Maar
(Maar stands for Maartini)


Posts: 28608
From: New York City & Newport, RI
Registered: Feb 2001


 - posted 08-23-2002 06:41 AM      Profile for Bob Maar   Author's Homepage   Email Bob Maar   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Rated G

Knock, knock!

Who's there?

Madame.

Madame who?

Madame foot will be up your ass, if you don't open this door!

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