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» Film-Tech Forum   » Community   » Bob Maar's Joke-A-Thon   » Communism!

   
Author Topic: Communism!
Will Kutler
Phenomenal Film Handler

Posts: 1485
From: Tucson, AZ, USA
Registered: Feb 2001


 - posted 07-11-2001 04:02 PM      Profile for Will Kutler   Email Will Kutler   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Rated PG!

This is "inside" Jewish humor, so read it with an accent.

During a gigantic celebration in Red Square, after Trotsky had been sent into exile, Stalin, on Lenin's great tomb, suddenly and excitedly raise his hand to still the acclamations: "Comrades, comrades! A most historic event! A cablegram-of congratulations-from Trotsky!"

The hordes cheered and chortled and cheered again, and Stailin read the cablegram aloud:

Joseph Stalin
Kremlin
Moscow
You were right and I was wrong. You are the true heir of Lenin. I should apologize.
Trotsky

You can imagine what a roar, what an explosion of astonishment and triumph erupted in Red Square now!

But in the first row, below the podium, a little tailor called, "Pst!Pst! Comrade Stalin."

Stalin leaned down.

The tailor said, "Such a message, Comrade Stalin. For the ages! But you read it without the right feeling!"

Whereupon Stalin raised his hand and stilled the throng once more. "Comrades! Here is a simple worker, a loyal Communist, who says I haven't read the message with enough feeling! Come, Comrade Worker! Up here! You read this historic communication!"

So the little tailor went up to the reviewing stand and took the cablegram from Stalin and read:

Joseph Stalin
Kremlin
Moscow

Then he cleared his throat, and sang out:

You were right and I was wrong?? You are the true heir of Lenin?? I should apologize??!!

Trotsky!

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Will Kutler
Phenomenal Film Handler

Posts: 1485
From: Tucson, AZ, USA
Registered: Feb 2001


 - posted 07-12-2001 08:23 PM      Profile for Will Kutler   Email Will Kutler   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Rated G

And yet...another true story from the annuals of Will Kutler.

When I was young, I had the magnificant opportunity to travel around the world. Now, my ethnic background is Russian, Polish, Hungarian and German. Well, in one place that I lived, I just so happened to have friends who were each from one of those countries.

Well, these pals, these buddies, came up with the perfect nick-name for me... they always refered to me as...The Eastern Block!

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Bob Maar
(Maar stands for Maartini)


Posts: 28608
From: New York City & Newport, RI
Registered: Feb 2001


 - posted 03-13-2003 06:28 PM      Profile for Bob Maar   Author's Homepage   Email Bob Maar   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Rated G [Eek!]

The Capitalism, the Socialism, and the Communism meet one day and decide to have a small party among themselves.
Since they had nothing to drink and eat, the Socialism said he was going out to buy something. So he leaves.

An hour passes, then two hours, three, it's getting very late, and the two friends are about to go home, but then the Socialism finally returns.

He makes his excuses and says he bought vodka but then he had to wait in a huge line for sausage.

Not quite believing, the Capitalism wonders: "What's 'the line'?"

"And what's the 'sausage'?" asks the Communism. [Big Grin]

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Michael Schaffer
"Where is the
Boardwalk Hotel?"

Posts: 4143
From: Boston, MA
Registered: Apr 2002


 - posted 03-13-2003 08:26 PM      Profile for Michael Schaffer   Author's Homepage   Email Michael Schaffer   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
This is my first post in the joke forum. I don`t know any jokes, but here is a saying we used to have when Germany was divided into West and East:

Why do they have so rough toilet paper in the East?
So that every ass turns red.

Maybe not very funny, but historic and authentic.

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