It's not what you think it is !!

Little Johnny's teacher, Miss Plot decides to take the class to an educational trip.

Little Johny refuses to go. Miss Plot reports this to his mother.

The mother replies that over the years Little Johnny has developed an unconscious habit of probing his finger into the navel of the person sleeping next to him at night.

Miss Plot says that it's a minor problem. She'll make Little Johnny sleep next to her during the tour.

So, all is set and the class begins the tour. At night, the class lodges at a motel. Miss Plot shares her room with Little Johnny as promised.

Sometime after midnight, when everybody is asleep, Miss Plot feels a sensation in her vagina. She gets shocked and starts retaliating when suddenly she remembers that it might be Little Johnny practicing his ill habit of probing his finger into her navel

She holds Little Johnny by his hair softly and whispers sweetly,"Dear, it's not what you think it is!! It's my feminine hole.

One day Little Johnny was on the school bus and he was sitting right behind the bus driver and he was saying to himself, "If my daddy was a lion and my mommy was a lion then I would be a baby lion." He kept on talking to himself like this.

Little Johnny had a cussing problem and his father was getting tired of it. He decided to ask his shrink what to do. The shrink said that since Christmas was coming up that he should ask Johnny what he wanted Santa to bring him. If he cussed he should leave a pile of dog shit in place of the gift. Two days before Christmas Johnny's dad asked Johnny what he wanted. Johnny said, "I want a god damn teddy bear laying right fucking here beside me when I wake-up Christmas morning. Then when I go downstairs I want to see a motherfuckin' train going around the god damn
tree, and when I go outside I want to see a red-assed fuckin' bike leaning up against the damn garage!"

A teacher asks her class if anyone could use the word 'indefinitely' in a sentence.

Little Johnny raises his hand at the back of the class. But the teacher knows he's a trouble maker and that he doesn't know the answer, so she calls on Jim.

Jim replies, "Due to the weather, school was canceled indefinitely." "Good" the teacher replies.

"What about you Jenny?"

Jenny says, "Since the bus broke down, transportation has been stopped indefinitely."

The teacher then says that the sentence was too much like the other one, and asks if anyone can use it in a different way.

So there's Little Johnny waving his hand again. And the teacher thinks... (Maybe he really does know the answer), so she calls on him.

One day, little Johnny comes home from kindergarten for lunch.

Not finding his mother in the kitchen, or the living room, he heads upstairs to check her bedroom.

He opens the door, and what does he see, but his father, who had also come home for lunch, stripped naked, on top of his mother, also naked, heavily into the act of lovemaking.

Not wanting to traumatize the boy, the parents continue as if nothing was wrong.

Little Johnny watches, and after a couple of minutes asks,

"Daddy, can I climb on and have a horsy ride?"

"Of course, Son, we're a family."

So Little Johnny climbs on.

After a few more minutes his mother starts moaning and writhing wildly.

Once there was a little boy named Johnny who was three years old.

When it was Palm Sunday, he couldn't wait to go to church to find out what PalmSunday was.

But sadly, Johnny came down with the chickenpox.

His parents hired a baby-sitter to take care of Johnny while they went to church. When they came home holding palm leaves, Johnny asked, "What are the palm tree leaves for mommie?"

She replied, "When Jesus walked through the town, people waved palm leaves at him in respect."

Little Johny asks the teacher, "How many feathers are there on a bird's wing?"

The teacher answered, "I don't know."

Little Johny then asked, "How many stripes are there on a bee's body?"

The teacher answered, "I don't know "Then Little Johny asked, "How many lives does a cat have?"

Happily the teacher answered, "Nine lives."

One day a man is walking down the street, when he notices a young boy in a wagon fixed up to look like a fire truck.

The man also notices that the wagon is being pulled by a dog with a rope attached to his nards!

The dog is, of course, howling like a banshee, and inching along ever so slowly. The man thinks for amoment, then approaches the boy and says: "You know, son, the dog would probably pull you faster if you had the rope attached to his leash."

One Friday afternoon, a first grade teacher said that she was going to ask the class a question and whoever get it right would get to take Monday off.

The class got very excited and listened very closely. "Who went..." she began her question but was interupted because someone rolled black marbles across the floor to her.

"Alright!"she said. "Who's the wise ass with the black balls?"

Little Johnny is playing in the street one day when this stranger pulls up in his car.

The stranger says "Psssssst! Hey kid!"

"Yeah?" replies Johnny.

And the stranger says, "Kid, I'll give a piece of candy to come in my car."

Lil' Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horses' legs, rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Johnny asked, "Pop, why are you doing that?"

"Because I'm thinking of buying these horses."

Johnny looked worried, "Then I think we'd better hurry home right away!"

"Why?" his father asked.

Little johny was in class one day and the teacher said Ok class we are going to have a spelling bee.

I'm going to say a letter of the alphabet and you have to say a word begining with the letter we will start with A .

As the teacher looks around the class and she looks at Johnny and thinks I won't pick Johnny cause he will say somthing rude like asshole so she picked Mary.

Mary said apple A-P-P-L-E.

Very good Mary replied the teacher. o

Ok now we will do B as the teacher looked at Johnny and thought I wont pick Johnny cause he will say somthing rude like bastard so she picked Mark.

Mark said boat B-O-A-T.

Very good Mark replied the teacher.

The teacher got all the way up to G and couldn't think of a swear word begining with G so she pick Johnny, Johnny said gnome G-N-O-M-E.

Very good Johnny the teacher replied now can you tell me what a gnome does ?

A first grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students, Johnny.

''I'm too smart for the first grade. My sister is in the third grade and I'm smarter than she is !

I think I should be in the third grade too!''

The teacher had had enough.

She took Johnny to the principal's office.

While Johnny waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was.

The principal told the teacher he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first grade and behave.

The teacher agreed.

Johnny was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agrees to take the test.

'' What is 3x3? ''

''9.''

''What is 6 x 6 ?''

''36.''

And so it went with every question the principal thought a third grader should know. The principal looked at the teacher and told her he thought Johnny belonged in third grade.

''Let me ask him some questions. What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?''

''Legs.''

''What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?''

''Pockets.''

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, ''Put Johnny in the fifth grade, I missed the last two questions.

Little Johnny is sitting in a biology class, and the teacher says that an interesting phenomenon of nature is that only human stutter, no other animal in the world does this. Johnny's hand shoots up. "Not correct, Miss!" he says.

Little Johnny came home one day and told his dad he had a tough day in math.

"What happend?" asked his dad.

"The teacher got mad at me." Little Johnny grumbled.

"What for?" his dad asked.

"She asked me what 2 x 3 was.

I told her 6."

"Well, that's right." Said the dad.

"I know." Said Little Johnny. Then she asked me "What is 3 x 2?

That's the same fucking question backwards, replied the Dad.

That's exactly, what I said.