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Author Topic: LIFE
Frank Angel
Film God

Posts: 5116
From: Brooklyn NY USA
Registered: Dec 1999


 - posted 03-25-2017 09:44 AM      Profile for Frank Angel   Author's Homepage   Email Frank Angel   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
LIFE...is DEAD on arrival. What happens when filmmakers rely wholly on special effects -- most very good mind you, very believable, but NO EFFIN STORY! It's all be seen before... dozens of times.

Quick outline (all of which you have seen in the publicity trailers running on TV, so no spoilers here). The story goes like this: the traveling earthlings are all hoping to be the first on definitively discovering if there is ET LIFE; the excitement is overwhelming as would be expected when they DO find a microscopic, single cell organism; extraterrestrial life... look, there IS. Yah, it's microscopic and so beautiful, but for all the giddy elation, ET it aint. The Earthlings' exuberance trumps their attentiveness to safety protocol. Hey, it's only a single cell organism...a REPRODUCING organism. They assume too much. Turns out, life, any life, has only one purpose...to survive. It also turns out, THIS life is smarter and stronger and more resourceful than the earth-based life.

All that is established in the first 15 minutes. From then on it's just a silly cat and mouse game...literally a mouse (look away -- you KNOW it only there for one reason....just like the FATAL ATTRACTION. It's ALIEN without teeth. It's the giant octopus from 20,000 LEAGUES UNDER THE SEA, only more resilient.

Aside from the very impressive simulated gravity-free special effects, not much to engage the brain with this, albeit, very slick foray into the usual "how about we first find out if it's friend or foe."

And by the way, you might think because you have seen Ryan Reynolds and Jake Gyllenhal making the rounds of all the talk shows promoting this turkey, that they BOTH have major roles. You would be mistaken. Surprisingly, other than displaying his talent for swallowing jelly fish whole, Reynolds really doesn't have much more than a walk-on role.

Saw the late screening Friday night and there were literally 10 people in the theatre, me included. Evidently the big publicity budget may not be doing what Sony was hoping it would.

Sadly, 2/5

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Mike Blakesley
Film God

Posts: 12108
From: Forsyth, Montana
Registered: Jun 99


 - posted 03-25-2017 09:52 AM      Profile for Mike Blakesley   Author's Homepage   Email Mike Blakesley   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Sony just can't seem to get traction lately. I blame the ridiculous amount of hoop-jumping necessary to order onesheets off their amazingly-clunky exhibitor relations website.

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Frank Cox
Phenomenal Film Handler

Posts: 1750
From: Melville Saskatchewan Canada
Registered: Apr 2011


 - posted 03-25-2017 12:10 PM      Profile for Frank Cox   Author's Homepage   Email Frank Cox   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I gave up on that website quite a while back. It completely refuses to let me register/log in/change my password. Following all of the restrictions that are listed on the page, it always tells me that any password that I try is invalid or an invalid format.

I just send an email to the Sony Exhibitor Relations lady in Toronto and she arranges for someone to send me a one-sheet. I (usually) get one in time.

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Marcel Birgelen
Film God

Posts: 2233
From: Maastricht, Limburg, Netherlands
Registered: Feb 2012


 - posted 04-03-2017 01:38 AM      Profile for Marcel Birgelen   Email Marcel Birgelen   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I agree with Frank A. on this one. Pretty lame from a story standpoint. It feels like a hodgepodge of many movies, most of them far better than this one.

After writing off almost $1 billion on Sony's movie business, many thought a spinoff or sale would be imminent, but apparently they plan to stick to it. Maybe it would be better to sell it to a bunch of people that have some creativity left in them.

If you look at what's on Sony's schedule this year, I'm not getting excited. Yet another Spiderman movie and a remake of Jumanji... Let's hope some of the non-tentpoles will actually make any money for them.

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