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Topic: Crank

Bobby Henderson
"Ask me about Trajan."

Posts: 10973
From: Lawton, OK, USA
Registered: Apr 2001

posted 09-19-2006 01:42 PM

I checked out Crank recently. Not the drug. The movie.
(at Carmike 8, Lawton, Screen #2, 35mm, DTS)

Crank is a funny title. It used to be a euphemism for "penis," as in, "the dog is licking his crank." Somewhere along the way speed freaks started calling their drug the same name. What's next? Pot smokers referring to weed as "dick?" Yeah, go smoke some.

This movie isn't a gritty drama about tweekers and the horrors of meth addiction. Instead, it is one of the most ridiculous action movies I've seen in quite some time. Very thin on plot, character and logic. If the viewer can manage to put his brain on auto pilot and think of this show as more of a comedy they might be at least somewhat entertained. Think at all and you'll be scoffing "bullshit" at most of what you see.

There's a thin line between situations which are geniunely funny and just plain stupid. This show weaves around, stradling the line. The viewer's own sense of humor will determine greatly whether he thinks this movie is decent or just sucks.

Jason Statham plays "Chev Chelios," a veteran hit man for a Los Angeles crime syndicate. I guess with a name as silly as that one would have to kill for a living to seem cool. Chev wakes up in a fog and learns through a video playing on his plasma screen TV he has been fatally poisoned with some Chinese drug. He has maybe only an hour to live. He freaks at that point and starts rampaging after the bad guys who drugged him. A call to his doctor, played by Dwight Yoakum, reveals he must amp up his adrenaline level by any means possible to keep his heart beating. That's the story's excuse to try to get as many action scenes into the show as possible.

I think it is pretty clear this John Woo and Snatch influenced kind of movie making has started to get pretty tired. The style will seem as dated as hair band metal pretty soon and Jason Statham needs to be careful not to get dragged out with that fad.

The movie features Amy Smart in a somewhat funny supporting role. One scene features her walking around her apartment in some very skimpy shorts. I'm sure that would rate a pretty high Greco Factor score.

The short dude who played Pedro in Napoleon Dynamite has a few scenes.

Rockstar Energy Drinks must have paid a handsome fee for the obvious product placements in the movie.

Production values on this flick appear low rent despite some of the action sequences. The editing style is a mix of frantic music video-ish poseur bullshit schtique and John Woo slow motion poseur bullshit schtique. The show looks like it may have been shot on 16mm. I didn't think the sound mix was anything special. Overall the movie has this feeling of being thrown together at the last minute.

Whoever made the end titles on this movie may need to be slapped. I've never seen movie credits with letter spacing this bad. Maybe that was done on purpose for some effect that was perceived to be cool. Sorry, but it only looks like shit.

My judgment: the show barely rates two stars out of four.

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Alex Grueneberg
Expert Film Handler

Posts: 125
From: Chicago, IL
Registered: Aug 2004

posted 09-19-2006 01:52 PM

I liked how they used google earth. Also, they had a lot of fun with pointless subtitles. For mindless action and sex, Crank really isn’t that bad of a movie.

Hey.. at least the plot is better then a movie about saving elephants (The Protector). [sleep]

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Jordan Dee
Film Handler

Posts: 5
From: Oregon City, O.R
Registered: Sep 2006

posted 09-20-2006 04:35 PM

I thought this was a pretty original movie. Kept me well entertained, and yes I did kind of think of it as kind of a comedy/action. I was laughing pretty much the whole movie.

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Paul J. Neuhaus
Expert Film Handler

Posts: 126
From: Iraq.. Again!
Registered: Jun 2005

posted 09-25-2006 08:33 AM

if you look at this movie as just a funny music video you will not be disapointed..

it didn't have a typical ending and that was just what I needed!

3/5 for entertainment not content

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