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Author Topic: Poseidon (2006)
Brian Michael Weidemann
Expert cat molester

Posts: 944
From: Costa Mesa, CA United States
Registered: Feb 2004


 - posted 05-12-2006 05:53 AM      Profile for Brian Michael Weidemann   Author's Homepage   Email Brian Michael Weidemann   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Loud, obnoxious, hollow shell of a movie.

To be honest, the first time I watched it through, I couldn't tell if it was good, bad, or what; because I just didn't care enough about it. The only conclusion I had was that the IMAX DMR transfer looked bright and sharp, and every bit as great as it should have. And also that attractive brunettes look great with the DMR treatment.

But after a couple more viewings tonight (both a 10:00pm and a midnight, the day before release) I'm convinced that it's just plain bad.

Oh, sure, the effects were okay. They probably modelled and rendered every single exterior shot of the ship, which was usually rather convincing. The big, opening, Titanic-rip-off doublebacking flyby shot didn't look too bad. I have no idea how many live-action elements they used, but I think they pulled it off okay.

The wave hits the boat 20 minutes into the 100-minute film, and there are lots of explosions, flooding water, screaming people, yelling people, and dead, bloody bodies of people thereafter. Fun for the whole family!

The only thing worse than the movie itself (okay, it wasn't THAT bad, but it works better for the effect of the sentence, even though I already spoiled the flow with this parenthetical aside) was that damned song that starts off the end credits.

Oh, and another thing, the credits didn't nearly have to be as long as they were, but someone felt the need to do them in the biggest, boldest, heavyset sans-serif they could find.

One good thing about the movie? It actually had a theme in the score! I can hum it! I can remember it! That doesn't happen anymore these days, does it?

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Dennis Benjamin
Phenomenal Film Handler

Posts: 1445
From: Denton, MD
Registered: Feb 2002


 - posted 05-12-2006 06:33 AM      Profile for Dennis Benjamin   Author's Homepage   Email Dennis Benjamin   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I noticed when I put the film together that the credits were pretty much ALL of reel 5. I thought that was odd.....

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Mike Blakesley
Film God

Posts: 12767
From: Forsyth, Montana
Registered: Jun 99


 - posted 05-12-2006 12:30 PM      Profile for Mike Blakesley   Author's Homepage   Email Mike Blakesley   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
It is nice to see an action/efx movie that isn't 135 minutes long though. People will actually be able to watch the whole thing through.

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Will Kutler
Phenomenal Film Handler

Posts: 1506
From: Tucson, AZ, USA
Registered: Feb 2001


 - posted 05-12-2006 07:49 PM      Profile for Will Kutler   Email Will Kutler   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
American Movie Classics has been running the original version this week. Their movie advertisement reads...

"If you think that Tom is unstable, then you have not seen this Cruise yet!"

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John T. Hendrickson, Jr
Jedi Master Film Handler

Posts: 889
From: Freehold, NJ, USA
Registered: Apr 2001


 - posted 05-12-2006 08:07 PM      Profile for John T. Hendrickson, Jr   Email John T. Hendrickson, Jr   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Too bad. This one would have been a good "made for TV movie". Why Warners spent $160 mil is beyond me.

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Michael Schaffer
"Where is the
Boardwalk Hotel?"

Posts: 4143
From: Boston, MA
Registered: Apr 2002


 - posted 05-13-2006 12:17 AM      Profile for Michael Schaffer   Author's Homepage   Email Michael Schaffer   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Isn't that a remake, too? "The Poseidon Inferno", or something like that?

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Matt Fields
Jedi Master Film Handler

Posts: 545
From: Ohio, United States
Registered: Jun 2005


 - posted 05-13-2006 12:32 AM      Profile for Matt Fields   Email Matt Fields   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
The original was "The Poseidon Adventure". The 70's included lots of disaster flicks, including The Poseidon Adventure and The Towering Inferno.

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Monte L Fullmer
Film God

Posts: 8367
From: Nampa, Idaho, USA
Registered: Nov 2004


 - posted 05-13-2006 12:51 PM      Profile for Monte L Fullmer   Email Monte L Fullmer   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
One of Irwin Allen's famous disaster flicks.."the Poseidon Adventure"

..the underwater stunt by Shelley Winters was the trademark scene in that original movie.

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Sam Graham
AKA: "The Evil Sam Graham". Wackiness ensues.

Posts: 1431
From: Waukee, IA
Registered: Dec 2004


 - posted 05-13-2006 08:51 PM      Profile for Sam Graham   Author's Homepage   Email Sam Graham   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
quote: John T Hendrickson Jr
Too bad. This one would have been a good "made for TV movie". Why Warners spent $160 mil is beyond me.
The weird part is, they DID a "made for TV" remake last year. In that one, terrorists caused the capsize. Oh MAN was it bad.

=====

CINEMA: Megaplex 17 at Jordan Commons, Sandy, UT
AUDITORIUM: Cricket IMAX
PRESENTATION: Uh, IMAX
PRESENTATION PROBLEMS: None [Cool]
RATING: Two and one half stars (out of four)

WARNING: A rogue wave can capsize spoilers

I actually know of a rogue wave tragedy. Ivar's Mukilteo Landing in Seattle was washed out by one a few years ago. The newly repaired restaurant now has this warning posted: "In case of rogue wave, order dessert first."

The movie wastes no time at all getting to the meat of things, taking about fifteen minutes to get to the capsize (I know...Brian counted twenty, but I'm sticking with what I recall), which happens quickly and without warning. Which is good because the casual banter leading up to it was horrible. It was like the director took a look at his work and said. "Wow. This sucks. Let's just move on." He STILL could have cut the lounge singing.

A lot of the ship shots and interior previous to the capsize looked like cheaply done CGI. Even the elevators didn't look real. The capsize, however, was awesome. As was the elevator shaft scene. The rest, well, it moved along quickly, which I very much appreciated.

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David Stambaugh
Film God

Posts: 4021
From: Eugene, Oregon
Registered: Jan 2002


 - posted 05-14-2006 07:01 PM      Profile for David Stambaugh   Author's Homepage   Email David Stambaugh   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Today, 11:45AM, Regal Cinema World 8 in Eugene, House #4, SR•D. Attendance around 10-12 (and nothing was doing any business when I left either). Print looked great: bright, sharp, and steady. Sounded good, but I suspect there's only 1 working subwoofer driver -- the bottom end is there but just barely. There was more deep bass coming from MI3 next door.

I didn't hate it. It's neither great nor a stinker. It moves along so quickly there's little time for any real character development (maybe that's a good thing). "More action, less melodrama". Delivers the goods as disaster movies go, and the special effects are mostly pretty good (ranging from so-so to spectacular).

I give it 2.75 out of 5 stars.

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Mike Blakesley
Film God

Posts: 12767
From: Forsyth, Montana
Registered: Jun 99


 - posted 05-14-2006 09:21 PM      Profile for Mike Blakesley   Author's Homepage   Email Mike Blakesley   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
quote: Matt Fields
The original was "The Poseidon Adventure". The 70's included lots of disaster flicks, including The Poseidon Adventure and The Towering Inferno.

I suppose if this does well, we can expect a remake of "The Towering Inferno" called "Inferno."

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Eric Hooper
Jedi Master Film Handler

Posts: 532
From: Fort Worth, TX, USA
Registered: May 2003


 - posted 05-15-2006 05:30 PM      Profile for Eric Hooper   Email Eric Hooper   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Wretchedly awful. I walked out of it. [thumbsdown]

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Brian Michael Weidemann
Expert cat molester

Posts: 944
From: Costa Mesa, CA United States
Registered: Feb 2004


 - posted 05-15-2006 10:29 PM      Profile for Brian Michael Weidemann   Author's Homepage   Email Brian Michael Weidemann   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
... And yet, I've been experiencing packed and sold-out shows that receive applause at the end. (They, clearly, were cheering because of my professional pre-show introduction announcement.) [Razz]

It's been reported to me that the per-screen for the IMAX version of this was heftier than the 35mm. (And our location was #3 in the country for the IMAX grosses.) I don't see any lasting power, though.

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Dave Williams
Wet nipple scene

Posts: 1836
From: Salt Lake City, UT, USA
Registered: Jan 2000


 - posted 05-17-2006 03:22 AM      Profile for Dave Williams   Author's Homepage   Email Dave Williams   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I am whole heartedly agreeing with your original assessment of this picture. I was entertained, but annoyed at the same time. I did not care about any of these people, as I was given no reason to. Then everyone but a few die. Just empty stuff. Oh, and yes, I get it, Richard Dreyfuss is the gay guy because of the earring, right? I have a very good and dear freind who is Gay, and does not make this known. IF he didn't tell you, you just wouldn't know, and who cares anyway.

This movie bit largely. 25 minutes of development would have done the trick.

Ciao

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Brian Michael Weidemann
Expert cat molester

Posts: 944
From: Costa Mesa, CA United States
Registered: Feb 2004


 - posted 05-17-2006 04:09 AM      Profile for Brian Michael Weidemann   Author's Homepage   Email Brian Michael Weidemann   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I didn't notice the Dreyfuss earring. But I was baffled as to the significance of having this character be gay. Change two pronouns from one segment of his dialog, and he'd be straight, given the exact same performance. Is that a testament to politically correct screenwriting? "Let's make him gay, to show we're okay with it, but don't over do it." Or is it an honest and realistic approach to representing society? "There are gay people out there, and it doesn't affect anything or anyone else, so it's a part of life, and this movie is a slice of life, so it's natural that this guy can be gay, meaninglessly." It's a rhetorical question, really. I agree ... who cares, anyway?

quote: Dave Williams
25 minutes of development would have done the trick.
You mean in addition to the current running time? That would have put it up there as another 2-plus-hour action flick in which we probably still would have found the characters thin and uncared for. As shallow as Poseidon is in its current form, I think it was the best move to get to the 'splosions and get to 'em fast!

And, I'd just like to add, I've developed a thing for that Emmy Rossum [thumbsup] ... well, if only her character wasn't such a bitch (SPOILER ALERT) who should have died but didn't.

 -

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