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Topic: Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid

Manny Knowles
"What are these things and WHY are they BLUE???"

Posts: 4247
From: Bloomington, IN, USA
Registered: Feb 2002

posted 09-12-2004 03:54 AM

SPOILERS

The first ANACONDA movie will always have a special place in my heart. Why? Take a look at this review from the L.A. Weekly circa 1997:

quote:
A giant dick lies sleeping in the cool, chilled waters of the jungle. Unattached to a male form, it is sexual impulse unmediated by conscience. Awakened by the twined musks of Jennifer Lopez and Ice Cube, as well as the wild overacting of Jon Voight, the dick becomes enraged, engorged. This is Anaconda, a film in which Lopez's hard nipples substitute for logic, an over-the-top Voight apes Brando circa both The Godfather and Apocalypse Now, and the rest of the acting wattage is really, really low. Quite unintentionally, director Luis Llosa and screenwriters Hans Bauer, Jim Cash and Jack Epps Jr. have crafted a howler; Anaconda, meant to be a nail-biting thriller, is a laugh-out-loud comedy. So what if sheer ineptitude is the cause? When Ice Cube wades through a river and manages to pull a dry match out of his pocket, or when Lopez, playing the part of an aspiring filmmaker documenting the jungle exploits, pouts, "This movie was supposed to be my big break; now it's just a big disaster," it's impossible not to go all giggly. And the special effects are melted Velveeta. See this guilty-pleasure flick. Gather some friends; get high, get stoned, then head right over to the theater. You'll piss yourself.

I couldn't have said it any better myself.

ANACONDAS: THE HUNT FOR THE BLOOD ORCHID is probably a better movie, but that's not to suggest that it's a terribly good movie. The effects are mostly uncovincing and whatever thrills the movie offers are due to editorial technique. ANACONDAS is thoroughly corny, but without the awkward campiness of its predecessor.

I found it a bit odd there seem to be fewer casualties this time around, despite the fact that there are more snakes. And, for whatever reason, all the victims were male.

And speaking of the cast, I have to say I thought this was a great-looking bunch of performers.

The "blood orchid" is a rare flower that blooms in the jungle once every seven years. It is believed to possess anti-aging qualities. With only two weeks remaining until the next "season," a team of medical researchers find themselves heading up-river during the treacherous rainy season. With that, the stage is set and the tired morality play begins to unravel.

I never thought I would say this but this theme has seen better handling in bad movies like CONGO, DEEP BLUE SEA and HOLLOW MAN.

Whatever enjoyment I may have derived from seeing this movie today is probably due to the good-looking cast, my appreciation for corny-cheesy movies like this and the fact that it was a better alternative to waiting for my car at the dealership across the street.

...and my fondness for the first ANACONDA movie...or, I should say, the L.A. Weekly review of it.

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Michael Schaffer
"Where is the
Boardwalk Hotel?"

Posts: 4143
From: Boston, MA
Registered: Apr 2002

posted 09-12-2004 04:26 AM

After the first Anaconda movie had come out, when you saw somebody who was in a really bad state (like for instance, hung over drastically), we used to say "you look like spit out by the Anaconda".

I know about the suspension of disbelief, but what pisses me off about movies like Anacondas is stuff like, there are billions to be made if they find the flower and collect it to make a drug from it. But then they travel into the area with a small inexperienced group of people on tiny messed-up boat? OK, the expedition doesn't go well. But they say it's only 2 days back to civilization. So they can't return to safety and return within hours with an armada of helicopters?

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Greg Davis
Film Handler

Posts: 96
From: Vista, Ca, USA
Registered: Sep 2004

posted 09-13-2004 12:51 AM

This movie was really the epitomy of the disease called "lets just do whatever we have to in order to make a movie." Get a good looking cast: check. Have the token guy: check. Make the bad guy British: check. And hey, all that... plot stuff... whatever. Obviousely the audience we are aiming for aint looking for much else.

Realistically, when the Anacondas don't look like Anacondas, thats just one big problem right there. At least the first one was climactic. I don't understand... I mean I really don't understand... some guy at some point had to watch the final version and say "ok, thats good. Ship it, send it."

However the big army guy was pretty darn cool. It did have that much goin for it.

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