F9 The Fast Saga (2021)

[Mike Blakesley]

This movie delivered exactly what I expected, which was basically a cartoon in live action. Absolutely nothing, from the chases to the rescues to the countless killings, is believable (there isn't even any blood). It's basically like a Road Runner cartoon combined with a James Bond movie, with virtually every control turned up past 11.

We watched the movie, but I have no idea how to describe the plot. I even read the plot on Wikipedia and I still could never re-tell it.

It mostly seems to center around the good guys wanting to recover the other half of a magical thingamajig, without which the universe will be destroyed, or something. There's always a magical doohickey in movies these days, and it's always got at least one piece missing that must be found or else. It's no longer just about saving somebody or even some people. It's the universe. It's easy to blame the Marvel movies (featuring the "Tesseract") for this trend, but it has been going on far longer, of course. I'm sure the hunt is on for something even bigger than the universe to save, since saving the universe has become pretty passe.

The stunts are so far over the top that they defy description. There are supposed to be two movr "FF" films after this... I assume the next one will have to take place on another planet, they've done about as much as they can with planet Earth.

The sound mix was loud but not very interesting, I didn't think. The acting was OK considering the material. Given the new woke era, the females in this show pretty much wear the same baggy clothing as the males -- no more objectification of women, thankyouverymuch -- even though the various eye-candy was always one of the most popular features of this series. But now women can't be attractive anymore, they're supposed to be just as badass-y as the guys are. Even Helen Mirren -- HELEN MIRREN! -- does a badass turn in a cameo that seems pretty phoned in.

It was a lot of fun to watch, I'll say that. It seems shorter than its 142-minute run time. But this movie demands more than checking your intelligence at the door. You also have to leave behind all reason, logic and of course, most especially, any knowledge you have of physics (although that ship sailed long ago).

People exiting are mostly shaking their heads, so I'm not sure what kind of legs this one will have, but it's putting a lot of butts in the seats so you gotta like it for that.

2.5 out of five stars from me.

[Jon Dent]

Pretty accurate. Perfectly entertaining while it's running but nobody will be talking about it a year from now outside of it's part in *sort of* heralding the return of the blockbuster. It's our first sold out show since renovating and reopening, so that is nice to see. Hell we nearly sold out a Sunday evening.

[Frank Cox]

The magnet-in-the-truck gimmick is pretty clever the first time they bring it out, but they beat it to death after that.

This movie could definitely use a storyline. If there's a plot hiding in there somewhere, I missed it completely.

I can't say that I'm too impressed with F9 myself, but if it gets people in the door, I'll be happy with that!

[Mike Blakesley]

I thought the bottom-of-the-barrel in stupidity (and it's a big, DEEP barrel) was when the huge truck flips over onto its top and continues sliding for about the next 30 city blocks,without so much as changing lanes, as if it had wheels on the topside, too.

[Mark Gulbrandsen]

I saw it too! I'd much rather sit through two hours of Roadrunner cartoons than this thing again.

[Jon Dent]

Someone should go in and add the Dukes of Hazzard horn to every nutty car stunt.

Had the same problem with this movie as Michael Bay's "Six Underground": It's so ridiculous yet so serious that it's hard to tell if the filmmakers are winking along or genuinely oblivious to how dumb it all is.

[Jon Goeldner]

outside of 'Tokyo Drift' which I avoided like the plague - this entry in the F&F franchise, literally jumped the shark by going to outer space - really? REALLY?? I thought this was SOOOO dumb.